Joseph and the Conception of Jesus

Joseph was busy repairing a wooden chair. It took fine precision and caution to reattach the broken leg, but Joseph knew exactly what to do and had accomplished many tasks similar to this one. The sun beat down heavily on Joseph and his hands were beginning to sweat, making the delicate task before him even harder to complete.
After many hours of labouring away, Joseph looked up to find a figure walking towards him in the distance. He dropped the piece of wood he was holding, dusted off his hands and gazed out into the dark, waiting curiously to find out who was coming towards him.
He soon recognised that it was Mary, his soon-to-be-wife. Who else would come looking for him after night fall? “Joseph?” she called, and he answered back to reassure her that it was indeed him she was approaching in the dark, and not some strange man she didn’t know of. When Mary reached him they hugged briefly, he was delighted to see her beautiful face after a hard days work and wanted nothing more than to hold her.

“I have some wonderful news” Mary sang delightfully, once their embrace was over. Joseph looked at her eagerly, what a perfect wife she would make, and she brought with her good news!
“I’m pregnant!” she gasped happily, her face brighter than ever before. Joseph’s eyes widened in shock, he felt around in the dark for one of the chairs he had repaired earlier and sat himself down. The chair collapsed beneath him and he fell abruptly to the ground. He let out an angry howl and threw a piece of the chair out of his way. Mary offered him her hand, but he refused it and stood up by himself.
“Curse these wooden chairs!” Joseph yelled, furiously kicking the pile of timber. “It took me hours to fix that chair!” He tried to avoid looking at Mary, and he tried to avoid the upcoming conversation. He loved Mary dearly and didn’t want to imagine her sleeping with someone other than himself. They stood in silence, Joseph breathed heavily trying to control his rage. Once Joseph had restored himself to a slightly calmer state (one which would not see him harming Mary) he lifted his head and looked into her confused eyes.
“Joseph-”
“What’s his name?” Joseph asked, not really caring what her answer would be.
“Joseph... It’s not like that... you see-”
“I could have the whole town stone you to death! I should cancel our marriage now, I don’t need to hear your excuses... The last time I checked you were a virgin, Mary... Why would you do this too me?... I thought you loved me.” Joseph’s anger turned into sadness, his eyes filled with tears and he forced himself to look away from Mary.
“Joseph. I do love you” Mary sobbed. Joseph tried with all his might not to look up at her, but her voice was so full of sorrow that he gave into himself. Despite how badly she had betrayed him, Joseph couldn’t bare to turn his back on Mary when she sounded so upset.
“I love you too” he whispered with as little passion as possible, he wanted to make her happy and withhold his dignity, but he knew that to achieve both was near impossible.

“Please listen to me, Joseph” Mary begged, when Joseph gave no response she went on “An angel came down from heaven. It told me that I am to carry the son of God” she then added with pride “I am to call him Jesus” Joseph was appalled. Not only had his future wife slept with another man, she now stood before him blaming her present situation on God. God: the creator of all living things. She would surely be sent to hell for such a lie, how could she dare bring God into her excuses? Joseph felt his dignity blow away from him, how could he maintain his self respect when Mary so openly lied before him?
“An angel came down from heaven.... and said that you would give birth to the son of God?” Joseph recapped sarcastically, Mary nodded with timid innocence “you honestly think that I would fall for that?” Joseph temper was rising again.
“I know it sounds impossible, but-”
“Mary. How can you claim to be pregnant and a virgin? You can’t be a virgin! Why does every one call you the Virgin Mary!?”
“Actually, Joseph. They don’t call me that yet. People call me the Virgin Mary later on, when our story becomes a legend and people celebrate the birth of Jesus by receiving presents from a man who dresses in red and white and travels from house to house by reindeer” Mary reminded Joseph.
“Oh, right. Offcourse. How stupid of me” Joseph apologised “But, still. How can you be pregnant and at the same time, be a virgin?”
“The angel said that it is by the magic of God that I will be a pregnant virgin” Mary informed Joseph.

“I don’t believe any of this!” Joseph yelled rather suddenly, making Mary jump. Joseph picked up his long wooden stick- which he always carried with him, even though it was evident he could walk without it- and turned away from Mary. Despite his efforts to make a dignified exit, he stood on a splinter of wood, which went straight through his thin shoes and pierced his skin.
“Jesus Christ!” He cried, combining the pain of the splinter with the anger he felt towards his lying fiancé and her unborn baby. Joseph was certain of only one thing, the baby wasn’t his, and this pained him more than the splinter still lodged in his foot.

Thus concludes the story of why we use Jesus’ name in vein sometimes.