Here’s a brief summary:
It’s 984 A.D. England, the present king is cruel and self centred, he cares little about the peasants of his village, which leads to them rebelling by starting a battle against the kings men. The king’s son Einon and Einon’s mentor, Bowen (Dennis Quaid) hear of the rebellion, and pause their sword fighting lesson to dash down to the village and help out. “I want to be down there fighting!” spits Einon. Despite Bowen’s words of wisdom and caution, Einon instructs his horse to head towards the rebellion. We then see a shot of a soldier lighting twig-made-cottages with a fire stick. The peasants notice the soldier and ALL of them go to stop this fire bearing opponent. After several seconds of ALL the peasants attacking this one soldier, one of them sticks his head out and shouts “the battle’s over there!” they ALL suddenly realise that there are many other soldiers, that need to be beaten and slashed. So they leave the poor single soldier and the real battle begins. I think it’s one of those things you need to see first hand, but it was hilarious how they where all fighting against one man until someone remembers that there are other kings soldiers who also need to be killed. Anyway. Einon is off his horse now, and is running around looking for some peasants to thwarter. He notices his dad (AKA the king) lying on the floor. Instead of trying to help his dying father, Einon snatches the crown of his head. The king tries to grab it back, and they fight over the crown briefly until Einon says “It’s mine! Why won’t you just die!” as soon as this is said, the king takes his final breath and closes his eyes.
Einon, with crown in hand, runs off. As he is running, a peasant “accidently” knocks him and he falls into a wooden pole - which just so happens to have a sharp point sticking out of it. The sharp point pierces Einon’s heart, he turns around (whilst clutching his bleeding chest, with a rather comical look on his face) only to find that the peasant who “accidently” knocked him, was a pretty girl his own age. Who, for reasons unknown, chose this moment to take off her helmet and seductively shake her long red hair.
Bowen takes Einon to his mother (who doesn’t care AT ALL that her husband died in the battle) and she announces that there is only one thing that can save Einon now. Her and Bowen take Einon to a dark cave, and ask the dragon who lives there if he can help save Einon. The dragon merely asks “I cannot see, are the stars shining?” which does little to help Einon. Eventually the dragon makes Einon swear to be a good king, takes out half his own heart and puts it in Einon as a replacement for his dead, human heart. This is why the film is called Dragonheart: Einon has half a dragon’s heart in him.
All went well, King Einon was well and cured. But... he became an even worse king than his dad “I will be greater than my father.” Know body knew that Einon had always been a spoiled, power hungry boy. I’m not sure how they all oversaw that.
Several years later (when Einon is older, and played by David Thewlis... who is also Lupin in Harry Potter) Bowen has dedicated his life to slaying dragons, in an attempt to find the dragon that gave Einon the corrupt half heart. If only Bowen knew that it wasn’t the heart that made King Einon evil. Soon, there is only one dragon left (whose name is Draco and is spoken by Sean Connery) Bowen and Draco end up forming a team, in which Draco flies over various villages and Bowen pretends to rescue the towns people by falsely slaying Draco. This pact is created so that Bowen can still get money from slaying dragons, and Draco... well, he won’t die. This part of the film is fairly drawn out, as there is no David Thewlis to laugh at.
King Einon has got a heap of peasants building him a new village. Just for the sake of putting them to hard work. He has no need or desire for this village. So, Einon and his main man Lord Felton (Jason Isaacs who plays Lucius Malfoy in Harry Potter) head down partly to check out the progress, but primarily to bother a few commoners. In response to a suggestion of Felton’s, King Einon says “only you, Felton, could keep such a good brain under such a bad hat.” David Thewlis’ accent (which apparently he ‘made up’ just for this role) and Feltons’ obedient agreement make this line rather funny. King Einon continues along on his horse, and decides to practice his bow and arrow skills, targeting a jug of water centimetres away from a blind old man. A woman with long red hair stands between the man (her father) and Einon’s bow “how dare you interfere with the kings sport!” Einon spits (much like young Einon ‘spat’ his line at the beginning of the film.) “You call torturing old blind men sport! Please, just let him go. We have built your castle for you, there is nothing left for him here. Please release him” the red haired woman begs. So, King Einon shots his arrow directly into her father’s chest, causing him to fall to the floor dead. “The lord always said death was a release, not a punishment!” he laughs, and gallops off on his horse.
Later, the red haired woman (who’s name is Kara) tries to stab Einon while he is enjoying a leg of lamb and watching men bash each other up. But, he sees her reflection in his - rather fancy and coincidently dragon shaped – water jug. She is locked up in some room. Einon then joins Kara in the room. She tries to leap at him when he first enters, but he – so precisely- stood a centimetre beyond the length of her chain, which (despite all the special effects) was probably the best visual composition in the entire film. Once he forcefully kisses her, tells her he’ll give her everything “even power” and puts his robe back on he leaves. Once Einon is gone, his mother comes into the room. “I don’t want you to suffer the same fate as me” she warns Kara, referring to marrying a king just because that’s what he wants. So Kara escapes via intricate underground pathways, and neglects to thank the mother, but that isn’t particularly important to the story line.
The peasants, Bowen and Draco, come together and form an army. They aspire to overthrow Einon and restore the land to harmony. I must mention the look on King Einon’s face, as he stands up in his castle looking shocked and scared down on the peasants. It made me laugh for several minutes.
During the battle, Einon is shot in the heart with an arrow. This kills him. But, luckily for Einon, half his life source is still in Draco (the last dragon alive, and the dragon who gave him the half heart.) Bowen makes the wise conclusion, that if Draco is killed Einon will die and until Draco is killed Einon is unkillable (yes, I used the nonexistent word unkillable.)
King Einon also realises this, and rushes back to the castle to make sure Draco is “safe and well for all eternity.” Draco is locked up in some room. Meanwhile, the battle continues. Einon’s mum comes into Draco’s room. She has come to kill him, Draco wants Einon to die, and so accepts that his time has come. He asks “are the stars shinning brightly?” and instead of saying “is that really relevant?” she replies “brightly, my lord, brightly” in a very quotable kind of way. As she lifts up the spear to stab Draco, Einon steps in and snatches it from her. They discuss the fact that she was ultimately trying to kill Einon and he says “how unmotherly of you” before stabbing her with the spear. If she could have spoken she may have said “how unsonly of you.”
I won’t ruin the end. But during the battle King Einon says “fool. I’m immortal!” to Bowen when he tries to kill him. Below is a soundless – however moving – image of David Thewlis saying this(which a friend made for me a while ago.) I know it doesn’t have the comedic impact it does in the film, but here it is anyway:
Einon, with crown in hand, runs off. As he is running, a peasant “accidently” knocks him and he falls into a wooden pole - which just so happens to have a sharp point sticking out of it. The sharp point pierces Einon’s heart, he turns around (whilst clutching his bleeding chest, with a rather comical look on his face) only to find that the peasant who “accidently” knocked him, was a pretty girl his own age. Who, for reasons unknown, chose this moment to take off her helmet and seductively shake her long red hair.
Bowen takes Einon to his mother (who doesn’t care AT ALL that her husband died in the battle) and she announces that there is only one thing that can save Einon now. Her and Bowen take Einon to a dark cave, and ask the dragon who lives there if he can help save Einon. The dragon merely asks “I cannot see, are the stars shining?” which does little to help Einon. Eventually the dragon makes Einon swear to be a good king, takes out half his own heart and puts it in Einon as a replacement for his dead, human heart. This is why the film is called Dragonheart: Einon has half a dragon’s heart in him.
All went well, King Einon was well and cured. But... he became an even worse king than his dad “I will be greater than my father.” Know body knew that Einon had always been a spoiled, power hungry boy. I’m not sure how they all oversaw that.
Several years later (when Einon is older, and played by David Thewlis... who is also Lupin in Harry Potter) Bowen has dedicated his life to slaying dragons, in an attempt to find the dragon that gave Einon the corrupt half heart. If only Bowen knew that it wasn’t the heart that made King Einon evil. Soon, there is only one dragon left (whose name is Draco and is spoken by Sean Connery) Bowen and Draco end up forming a team, in which Draco flies over various villages and Bowen pretends to rescue the towns people by falsely slaying Draco. This pact is created so that Bowen can still get money from slaying dragons, and Draco... well, he won’t die. This part of the film is fairly drawn out, as there is no David Thewlis to laugh at.
King Einon has got a heap of peasants building him a new village. Just for the sake of putting them to hard work. He has no need or desire for this village. So, Einon and his main man Lord Felton (Jason Isaacs who plays Lucius Malfoy in Harry Potter) head down partly to check out the progress, but primarily to bother a few commoners. In response to a suggestion of Felton’s, King Einon says “only you, Felton, could keep such a good brain under such a bad hat.” David Thewlis’ accent (which apparently he ‘made up’ just for this role) and Feltons’ obedient agreement make this line rather funny. King Einon continues along on his horse, and decides to practice his bow and arrow skills, targeting a jug of water centimetres away from a blind old man. A woman with long red hair stands between the man (her father) and Einon’s bow “how dare you interfere with the kings sport!” Einon spits (much like young Einon ‘spat’ his line at the beginning of the film.) “You call torturing old blind men sport! Please, just let him go. We have built your castle for you, there is nothing left for him here. Please release him” the red haired woman begs. So, King Einon shots his arrow directly into her father’s chest, causing him to fall to the floor dead. “The lord always said death was a release, not a punishment!” he laughs, and gallops off on his horse.
Later, the red haired woman (who’s name is Kara) tries to stab Einon while he is enjoying a leg of lamb and watching men bash each other up. But, he sees her reflection in his - rather fancy and coincidently dragon shaped – water jug. She is locked up in some room. Einon then joins Kara in the room. She tries to leap at him when he first enters, but he – so precisely- stood a centimetre beyond the length of her chain, which (despite all the special effects) was probably the best visual composition in the entire film. Once he forcefully kisses her, tells her he’ll give her everything “even power” and puts his robe back on he leaves. Once Einon is gone, his mother comes into the room. “I don’t want you to suffer the same fate as me” she warns Kara, referring to marrying a king just because that’s what he wants. So Kara escapes via intricate underground pathways, and neglects to thank the mother, but that isn’t particularly important to the story line.
The peasants, Bowen and Draco, come together and form an army. They aspire to overthrow Einon and restore the land to harmony. I must mention the look on King Einon’s face, as he stands up in his castle looking shocked and scared down on the peasants. It made me laugh for several minutes.
During the battle, Einon is shot in the heart with an arrow. This kills him. But, luckily for Einon, half his life source is still in Draco (the last dragon alive, and the dragon who gave him the half heart.) Bowen makes the wise conclusion, that if Draco is killed Einon will die and until Draco is killed Einon is unkillable (yes, I used the nonexistent word unkillable.)
King Einon also realises this, and rushes back to the castle to make sure Draco is “safe and well for all eternity.” Draco is locked up in some room. Meanwhile, the battle continues. Einon’s mum comes into Draco’s room. She has come to kill him, Draco wants Einon to die, and so accepts that his time has come. He asks “are the stars shinning brightly?” and instead of saying “is that really relevant?” she replies “brightly, my lord, brightly” in a very quotable kind of way. As she lifts up the spear to stab Draco, Einon steps in and snatches it from her. They discuss the fact that she was ultimately trying to kill Einon and he says “how unmotherly of you” before stabbing her with the spear. If she could have spoken she may have said “how unsonly of you.”
I won’t ruin the end. But during the battle King Einon says “fool. I’m immortal!” to Bowen when he tries to kill him. Below is a soundless – however moving – image of David Thewlis saying this(which a friend made for me a while ago.) I know it doesn’t have the comedic impact it does in the film, but here it is anyway:
5 comments:
You should branch out and do more film synopses like this. Very amusing.
Thanks!
I just realised that I spelt 'nobody' 'know body'... let's pretend that never happened.
Know body need know...
My blog is broken. I can't post anything new.
But I can put up this comment to tell you all. I wonder how many people will come and read this.
It's all good now.
Not that anyone would have read the above comment and worried for me....
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