Happyville

Here's a dream I had a couple of years ago. It's long and poorly written, but don't let that put you off reading it....

It was a lovely summer’s day in Happyville. The grass was healthy and green, the flowers were in full bloom. The houses were arranged perfectly along the street, the picket fences out the front were as white as snow. Children played merrily up and down the honey scented road, chasing the ice-cream van when it came around. No one was mowing their lawns today, it was Sunday, rest day. You could hear the bees buzzing and the birds singing their soothing song for the world to hear. The sound of laughter was about, but you could still sleep soundly if you wished. The flowers smelt sweater than any other flower I’d ever smelt, in fact I think this was the first place I had actually picked up a flowers and held it up to my nose. The feeling was pure and delicate.
I had been there before, but this time (like every other time I had came) it felt like a place that may not be the same next time you visit, so while I was in this place I cherished every little second. I had just come from an incredibly cold place so the heat there was almost unbearable, I wanted to go inside one of the houses to cool down but I knew that once I did this perfect street may not be the same when I got back.
My Auntie and my cousin live on that street. They’re very happy there. I couldn’t stay forever, the heat always becomes too much and I have to leave. Or maybe the happiness and the peace is too beautiful and I feel I don’t deserve it. Either way, I get to a stage of my visits at Happyville and I know I really must go. They all tell me to stay, but that just makes me realise how much I really ought to get going. “What if you never return?” my Aunties always asks as I go to leave “I always return” I reply each time as if it’s written somewhere I should say it, and she answers after a pause “what if it’s different when you return?” and then as if I was hit in the head with a stone I usually burst into tears. I know she’s right, and it’s my biggest fear. What if my favourite place in the world is different when I go back? But still, I leave.
On this particular day the heat hadn’t got to me just yet and I was enjoying my time as much as possible. It didn’t even pass my mind that I would be leaving this place, not that it passed my mind that I would stay forever. It just was, and there was no time involved. What time was it? What day was it? What year was it? I didn’t care less, I didn’t even think of it. If I knew I only had hours left in this place, maybe I wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much. Or maybe I would have enjoyed it even more, who knows.
Because my auntie and cousin live in Happyville they get free access to the local pool. The heat sometimes gets a little much for them too, but lucky they can just go to the cool pool around the corner and heal themselves. On this visit to Happyville I was heading to their house for a visit. But as it so happened they were out for a bit, having a swim.

I opened the picket fence and walked up the cobblestone footpath positioned in the exact centre of their front lawn, to the front door. I knocked three times and waited for an answer. My auntie’s partner opened the door, we greeted each other. And then before I asked he told me that my cousin and auntie were out. I didn’t ask how long they’d be and he didn’t tell me, time doesn’t exist in Happyville.
I went inside the house I thought I was very familiar with, but it seemed different on this day for some reason, I couldn’t pin point the difference for as soon as I walked into this new looking house I completely forgot what I had known it to be. It was a lot darker than outside, the curtains were shut to keep the cool in. There was no way of seeing the beautiful street outside unless you went back outside, there was also no way of knowing if it had become night time yet.
He gestured to a room at the end of an unfamiliar corridor and so I headed down, slightly scared, to the door only meters away. As I think back to this day I realise that I shouldn’t have gone into the room at the end of the corridor, in fact I shouldn’t have even knocked on the front door. I should have stayed out on the front lawn and enjoyed the sun until my auntie and cousin came home. But I had no way of knowing they weren’t in, and so I knocked, and I went into the room at the end of the corridor.
The room was large but there wasn’t much space. There were heaps of people, apparently waiting, in the room. Some were sitting, they had made themselves comfortable as someone would after waiting in the same place for a long time. Some were pacing around like they just couldn’t wait any longer. It wasn’t noisy but the people were all talking dully amongst themselves. As I entered the room not a single head looked up at me, I felt very alone. It seemed as though everyone in the room had at least one other person who they knew, who they could talk with and wait with. But I had no one, I had come alone.
It could have been hours later, or it could have been only minutes. When a man, whose face I can’t recall, came out from a door at the back of the room. It was exactly opposite the door I had entered the room through. He addressed the entire room, as he spoke everyone looked around “It’s time to get your injections now” he announced and at the time I wasn’t sure if he meant me as well. Everyone seemed to know that this was coming, perhaps this was what they were all waiting for. At this moment I completely forgot why I was in the room, I forgot that I was waiting for my auntie and cousin to come home, I forgot my aunties partner was just out the front. And so at this forgetful moment I believed that the injections were what I had been waiting for as well. Amongst the crowd I went through the door the man had come through.
It was a doctors. Beyond the door was a doctors. It wasn’t a hospital with long white corridors and the smell of curing drugs. It was a grey carpeted, fully operating doctors place. As we walked through the door it was like we were in a whole new building. Everyone cued up in a single filed line that lead into a mysterious room which everyone looked fairly familiar with. So I went to the back of the line, maybe there I could avoid getting an injection, but it just made the wait longer and the nerves worse. As the line got shorter my heart beat faster, my hands sweat and my mouth went dry. I seemed in much more of a mess than all the other people.
Why was there a doctors at the back of my aunties house any way? I couldn’t help wondering why a bunch of randoms were lined up to have injections at the back of my auntie’s house. It didn’t make much sense, and I hated not knowing. It scared me. I felt as though the reason was really obvious to everyone else there and if I asked them where they were from they would just laugh at me, I didn’t want to draw attention to myself let alone embarrass myself. So I went with the flow.
This place seemed as though at times it got really busy. There were a few more rooms than the one we were cued up to go into. There was a reception desk but there was no one behind it and it was all closed up. As the cue got shorter and shorter it seemed to get later and later, it wasn’t like me to be wondering what time it was in Happyville. Then I felt sick, sick by the thought that time didn’t matter here, because to me, all of a sudden, it really really did.
I was also incredibly worried by the fact that I hadn’t a clue what the injections were for, would it kill me? That was a bit full on, so I pushed that idea away. But I was still very scared. I began to find Happyville creepy, not just the doctors we were in now, but the outside too. I started to feel a slight eeriness about the perfectness of the place. The most perfect place on earth now scared me because it was too perfect. I had no desire to go back outside any more. The doctors had ruined Happyville, it would never be the same again.
But then, just when I was starting to get depressed and the most perfect place was no longer perfect. Someone realised how scared I looked, finally, someone noticed that I existed! I wasn’t invisible anymore! And it felt good. I was reading a poster blue tacked to the reception desk, trying to get some information about the injection I was going to get. It was useless. The boy in front of me could tell that I was worried and confused. “Don’t worry” he said, I was shocked that he was talking to me and jumped a little. It was embarrassing but he giggled it away lightly. “Me and my sister will go in before you” he said and then I noticed he was with a girl around his age, she had blonde hair and blue eyes just like him. I presumed they where twins, but I never asked. She was dressed very well and was stylish, she had white tips on her nails and her hair was obviously straightened recently. She wore silver high heals which made her the same height as her brother. Unlike her brother she seemed very edgy and anxious to go in, this was comforting, to know that me and at least one other where in the same boat. “She needs me in with her, if I didn’t go she’d be too scared” he told me, I wasn’t sure if he too was getting an injection or if he was only there to comfort her. I didn’t ask because I was still getting over the shock that someone in this place was not only talking to me, but being nice as well.
His sister was trying to get a word with him but he pushed her away because he was talking to me. “I’m Lucas” he said and held out his hand “Luna” I said and we shook. “If you like I can go in with you too, if that would make it easier” he wasn’t sure if I’d except his over, but I was all for it “that would be really nice” I said, and so it was settled. Him and his sister went into the room. I stood and waited in the foyer. Who knows how long I waited. Who cares, I wasn’t as scared any more. I was anxious to see how Lucas’ sister would come out. Dead. Happy. Bleeding. The suspense was killing me.
There wasn’t a single person in the doctors place any more. I was waiting all by myself. It was frightening. So I thought of Lucas and how he was only a door away. I longed for him to come back, so I could ask him what on earth was going on, so he could help me through this dark time. There was a silence in the foyer. I couldn’t hear a thing. So I strained my ears for just one little sound. A scream from the room Lucas and his sister were in, or voices through the door everyone had exited by. I strained my ears until I heard the ticking of a clock. It was coming from one of the rooms.
I headed slowly to the room, turned the knob and stepped in. I wanted to go back and make sure Lucas hadn’t come out but I was dying to know the time. I looked around the room. It was a high school classroom. Completely empty. The shutters were shut and a pink light was coming through them as if it were sunrise or sunset outside. I now had a very strong desire to get back to reality, to find the time. I looked passed the lined up rows of desks and chairs and above the clear white board. There was a clock. It was ticking loudly now. Louder than before. I started at it for ages, but as hard as I tried, I couldn’t read it. I had lost the ability to read time. I ran out of the room and back to the foyer. I was scared.
I stood and waited for Lucas. I thought of how kind he had been. He was the only one who could tell that I was lost and unsure. She had tears in her eyes and her makeup was smudged as she came out, her brother close behind trying to make her feel better. She pushed him away, put her hand to her mouth and ran (as fast as possible in high heals) out of the foyer, and out of our sight.
“Everything will be alright” Lucas said to me, I was staring at the door his sister had left and I couldn’t take my eyes of it. I eventually turned away from it and faced him, his hand was held out and he said again with more emphasise “You’re going to be fine.” I walked slowly and unsurely towards him and took his hand in mine “that’s the way” he said calmly. He opened the door and hand in hand I went in after him.
The room was like a doctors office, not a proper place to be injected. It was personalised to suit the doctors tastes. This wasn’t a positive thing, the paintings and office like desk made the room seem too much like an ordinary study. In contrast the man who was standing in the room wore a white coat, much like the ones I was familiar with general doctors wearing. He began to put a yellow liquid into a needle. The needle was long and very pointy, I realised at this point that on previous visits to the doctors to get injections, I had never looked at the actual needle. So I couldn’t compare this one with ones I had had before, this worried me. Was it a normal injection?
“Take a seat” he said gesturing to a leather couch which faced a fire place. I looked at Lucas questioningly and he nodded, he reassured me that everything would be alright. His hand still in mine, we walked over and sat down on the couch. Sitting on leather couches when it’s really hot, is rather uncomfortable, and you never feel as though you shouldn’t be doing it. I was sure that I shouldn’t be sure about anything.
I couldn’t stop looking at the doctor, who was sterilizing and preparing my injection. Lucas put his fingers on my chin and turned my head so I was facing him, I looked him in the eye and he whispered “There’s nothing to worry about” he nodded and I nodded back. It was obvious his words hadn’t completely turned me around, I was very anxious.
My eyes never left Lucas’, the pointy metal pierced my skin, and liquid poured into my body. Lucas squeezed my hand tighter as my face expressed utter pain. It felt like it stayed in me for ages and ages and it wasn’t until Lucas let go of my hand, patted me on the shoulder and said “It’s all over, you did it” that I realised the needle was out.
I stood up and headed out the door. I didn’t look back at the doctor. I thought Lucas was right behind me, but he wasn’t. He never left the room with me. I knew now that I had done what I had to do. It was my life and I didn’t have to find the crowd of people and wait with them (if they were still waiting that is) I headed straight for the front door. I went into the foyer and out the door that lead into the room we waited in, I walked down the corridor and then straight out the front door.
It was as sunny as always, it was exactly the same as I had left it. Only I didn’t feel the same there. I wasn’t happy. It felt as though the sun was setting and it was getting dark, dark and cool. But the children were playing as if it was midday. As I sat on the front stair I realised that this was what my auntie meant when she had said “what if it’s different when you return?” because this time it was different. And it would never ever be the same ever again.
My auntie and cousin came laughing down the street, wearing bathers and towels around there shoulders. They weren’t surprised to see me, It was as if they expected me to be sitting on their front stair. Everything was expected in Happyville, even if you didn’t expect it. “Would you like to go for a swim?” my auntie asked. I had no desire to go for a swim, it was starting to get cool and I didn’t need to.
“I’m not allowed to go swimming here, I don’t live here, I don’t have access to the free pool” I said conclusively. My auntie and cousin looked at each other with confused looks and my cousin said
“But you can now? You can live here now can’t you?” she said it as though she was expecting me to stay this time. I surprised myself when I said
“yeah I suppose I can live here now.”
Was it something in the injection that made me see Happyville differently? Was it something in the injection that made me feel a cool breeze whilst sitting on the step? Something in that yellow liquid made Happyville seem almost... normal? I could live there now! It wasn’t as perfect as before but the heat would never become too much for me. And if it did I could just go for a swim!
I’m still living in Happyville. Happyville is still the greatest place on earth, maybe not as great as before, but now I never have to leave it. For my birthday that year my auntie gave me a watch. Life was normal, and I never had to go back to the place beyond my aunties house. I never saw Lucas again either though, I think that’s a good thing, I don’t think he leaves the doctors place.