I woke up to this song playing on my radio, and thought it was pretty funny:
Who mowed the lawns of Eden? Who kept the garden trim?
Adam never volunteered, I'm sure it wasn't him.
Who pruned all the fruit trees to which Genesis refers?
Did the angel Gabriel have some secateurs?
Who mowed the lawns of Eden? Who kept the garden green?
Eve was not a gardener, and the Cherubs were not keen.
The angels and archangels, they were pretty much the same,
They refused to weed as well as magnify His name.
The Seraphim, they could have helped in several different ways,
But they had all their time used up with singing hymns of praise.
The Heavenly Host was small then, because nobody had died,
But none of them liked digging, even though they'd never tried.
I bet the saints and martyrs would have loved to dig and hoe,
For martyrs up in heaven are the same as here below.
Who mowed the lawns of Eden? Who helped the garden grow?
Who made of it a Paradise? I'll tell you, 'cos I know.
God. He fixed the garden, the first one that he made,
He pruned all the roses, and was handy with his spade.
On Sunday, nice and early He went out to smell the dew.
(There wasn't any Church then, so He'd nothing much to do).
He wandered to the potting-shed, behind the Tree of Life,
And got his spade and trowel out, His fork and pruning knife.
He looked after Eden, and He watched the lilies grow,
And Eden's still a Paradise where gardeners can go.
Who mowed the lawns of Eden? God mowed the lawns and more,
Adam couldn't help Him, for his rib was still quite sore.
The beasts that God created never helped in any way,
The lion lay down with the lamb, bone idle all the day.
God built all the trellises for clematis to climb,
Cut back the wisteria and trained the columbine.
He pruned all the fruit trees: apple, peach and pear,
He had so many jobs to do, you always find Him there.
So if I get to Heaven, I'll just ask Peter if I can
Potter about in Eden, just to help out the Old Man.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Cashew
Here's a story I didn't write for my blog but then remembered I haven't posted anything in a very long time, so decided to share it with you.
Cashew lay silently on her back, gazing up at the shadowed ceiling, wondering why on earth she had been named after a nut. When all of a sudden it dawned on her, as the sun crept through the windows, Cashew realised that she had to make a name for herself. What was the use of having such an off centre name if she wasn’t going to use it to her advantage? So she hopped out of bed, got dressed, brushed her teeth and did all those other routine things that normal people with normal names do in the morning, before stuffing a backpack full of clothes and food and declaring to her mother that she was “going on a wild adventure that no one has ever dreamt of” her mother said “be back in time for supper, dear” and Cashew swung her bag around her shoulders, leaving the house with nothing but excitement on her mind.
Standing outside in the morning air, the long grass under her elf like boots, Cashew came to the conclusion that there was no adventure to be had. She looked across the grassy field, it stretched on as far as she could see. It would be tiring to push through and she doubted it would ever end, but she’d promised herself an adventure and she never broke her word. She adjusted the straps of her backpack picked up a suitable sized stick to aid in walking, and set off.
“Once I’ve seen beyond the grassy field I’ll be famous and everyone will know my name!” she declared aloud to herself “when they hear the name ‘Cashew’ they will no longer laugh, they will instead be reminded of me and the greatness I have achieved!” it didn’t occur to Cashew that the world may already extend beyond her village, that there may actually be other civilisations beyond what she could see. But she was an explorer and was determined to be the first to discover the world beyond her town. Leaving her family and friends behind, she began her journey to “whatever it is that lies beyond the grass!”
After walking nonstop for several intense and exhausting minutes, Cashew threw her bag to the ground and lay on the ground staring up at the sun, she wondered “how long will it take for me to go blind if I continue staring at the sun like this?” but as her eyes began to sting and water she made the wise decision not to venture any further and find the answer. She rubbed her eyes until a gentle hand touched hers and a voice said “staring at the sun like that will make you blind.” Cashew opened her eyes and found a boy standing over her, his hand was outstretched to help her up, she took it and clumsily stood beside him. His hand was twice the size of hers, but he didn’t look nearly as old as her dad.
“Thanks” she said “I just wanted to know how long it would take”
“How long what would take?” the boy asked conversationally
“For me to go blind” she answer “but it hurt too much and I couldn’t bear it any longer”
“I’m not surprised”
“That I was so silly?”
“No. That you gave up”
“I didn’t ‘give up’ I just decided I would rather keep my vision than find out the answer”
“That, you see, is the reason why no one knows the answer. The smarter of us just presume we’ll go blind if we look at the sun, and don’t really care about discovering the answer to your query”
Cashew thought momentarily about questioning him, and arguing that maybe staring at the sun has never even been a cause of blindness. But she felt intimidated by the young man and began to nervously twiddle with the plastic Barbie watch around her dainty wrist.
“What are you doing all by yourself out in this open field anyway? Anything could happen to you and nobody would know” the man had managed to change Cashew’s outlook of a marvellous adventure down a path of self doubt.
“I... um... just wanted to go exploring?” she hoped very much for his approval
“Well you shouldn’t go alone. I wouldn’t want anything bad happening to you” but it was no fun anymore, he had taken the spontaneity and excitement away. “What were you thinking of doing?” he asked, half curious but half in anticipation to get it over with. This made Cashew feel rather stupid, how could she say ‘I was just going to roam around anywhere hoping something exciting would happen,’ he would just think her a fool.
“I’m.... looking for my pet dog...”
“Did he run away? I thought you said you were exploring?”
“Oh... yeah. Um, I’m exploring around to find my lost dog” she was partially satisfied with this response, as it seemed to give her an air of purpose although it didn’t fully support her ‘I just wanted to go exploring’ statement from earlier on, and she knew he was aware of that.
“Right then. Let’s get looking. We don’t want to boil away under the sun” the man began to scan the field with his eyes as he walked forwards. At least her adventure had some sense of direction now, Cashew concluded that this was a good thing, and happily followed the clever boy.
“Spot!” she called to the sky so their search would appear more genuine, he soon mimicked her calls. She was pleased that calling her (however imaginary) dog’s name had been seen as a good move to make.
“What’s your name by the way?” the man asked, after a tiring day of walking forwards and calling to nothing.
“Lucy” Cashew replied, for she didn’t think her name would sit well with the man.
“mm, that’s fairly ordinary” he said with a gentle smile. She wished she’d told him her real name, maybe he would have said ‘wow! That’s very unique and special! I love it’ but no, she had to lie. She was now seen as dull and ordinary and it was entirely her fault.
“I’m just going to go over there for a moment, I’ll be back shortly” the man informed her, pointing towards an identical area of never ending grass just over to the left. The town was no longer in sight, and the sun was beginning to set. Cashew didn’t ask what he was doing, in fear that his sentence would end with ‘...what else would I have been doing, you stupid child.’ He walked so far to the left that, in the hazy black sky, Cashew could no longer see him. She began to think about what he’d said earlier about something bad possibly happening to her if she were alone. The day had been warm, but the night was chilly. The moon shone bright enough that Cashew could make out the intricate details of the friendship bracelet around her ankle. This ignited her on a whirlwind of thoughts: if you wear a bracelet around your ankle is it still a bracelet? Do you call it an anklet even though it was made as a bracelet? Why can’t I tell which threads are purple and which are green in this light? Why is it that the night changes brightness and also colour? Does the sun hold all the colour? She continued to wonder as little girls do, until, very suddenly, she was knocked forward by a galloping horse.
“Shit! Sorry” said a voice, a tanned boy with dark hair swung off his horse and gently helped Cashew to her feet. He looked at her with a pure honesty, she could see into his soul and it was clear he didn’t mean to hurt her for he obviously cared. “Are you hurt? Would you like me to give you a ride on my horse? Where are you off to?” he asked tenderly, he looked at her as if he’d never cared about anything more in his entire life. Like she was special.
“No no” she reassured him “I’m fine”
“You’re shivering” he exclaimed “why didn’t you tell me? Here, take my jacket” and without waiting for her response, he gave Cashew his puffy brown leather coat.
“Thanks”
“What are you doing out here?” he asked, genuinely curious and genuinely concerned
“I was going to go on an adventure”
“Sounds fun! I’d be up for that” Cashew loved that he liked her for who she was and wondered if the other man would have been the same if she’d been honest, but then she remembered how intimated he had made her feel.
“Would you really!? We should go on an adventure together”
“Do you often go on adventures?” he asked
“No, I never have before”
“Then this will be your first real adventure?”
“Yeah, I suppose it will be! We’ll have to make it fun and exciting”
“Fun and exciting is my specialty!” he smiled and winked at her and she felt very content within herself.
“I love your horse” she commented, feeling that she could say anything without being negatively judged
“Why thank you” he bowed “she is the horse of the night, I call her Nightmare”
“She’s beautiful”
“Do you want to ride her?”
“I would love to ride her! That would be very fun and exciting!”
And with that he jumped upon his black mare and swept Cashew up with his hand. As they galloped off into the night Cashew remembered the other man and worried about whether he would feel left behind, but she figured he hadn’t really liked her that much anyway and would probably be better off without her around.
After only a very short while she noticed that the grass land was coming to an end and could see a forest just over in the distance
“Oh! Look! The grassland does end! This is a great adventure” she cried, holding onto his waste so she wouldn’t slip off the lighting fast horse.
“This is only the beginning my lovely” he announced and they sped even faster towards the tall trees. “What’s your name by the way?”
“Cashew”
“Bless you”
“Haha, no, that’s my name!” she laughed
“It’s sweet” he said earnestly. She was so happy she could fly. They were soon at the forest and the pair of them were very excited. He flung her off the horse and they went running about in the forest, she felt as free as a bird and didn’t hesitate to hold back as she leaped about and absorbed how wonderful the forest was. It was during this time, however, that she remembered her mother’s warnings ‘be back by supper,’ it was now long past supper, it was long past bed time. If only she’d stayed with the other man, he would have got her safely home. Even though she couldn’t be honest or herself around him, he would surely have made certain she got home in time. Now she was more worried than she ever had to be, she no longer even felt safe. She knew she couldn’t trust this boy.
“What’s wrong?” the boy asked
“I think I should go home now”
“But we’ve only just started having fun! There’s so much more I need to show you” but Cashew had never wanted to go beyond what was beyond the grass field, she had merely wanted evidence that it ended. She knew it would be fun to stay but never the less it was too much excitement for her to deal with, she was already late and would have to go home.
Without question he saddled up Nightmare and took Cashew home
“Goodnight. We’ll have to do something fun and exciting again someday” she said as she stumbled off his horse and handed him back his jacket
“No problems. I’ll catch you round” he waited until she was safely inside her house and then galloped off into the night. She doubted he would even remember her, he would continue to go on many adventures without her. Cashew felt bad. Not bad as in sick or upset, but bad as in naughty. Her mum felt much the same. She went to bed straight away without supper.
The next morning there came a knock at the door. “It must be the boy with the horse!” Cashew thought when her mum announced that it was for her. But it wasn’t. It was the other man. She was very excited to see him, although she couldn’t fathom why, he seemed a much better friend to have than the ridder of Nightmare
“Hi Lucy” he said sweetly, smiling gently “I just wanted to say sorry for walking off so far. I hope you’ll forgive me, I never meant to abandon you”
“That’s fine, I understand” she said, feeling incredibly guilty for abandoning him and running off with the other boy. She wished very much that she hadn’t left him behind, even if it meant she may not have seen the forest.
“My name isn’t Lucy, by the way” she added impulsively “It’s Cashew” for a second he was confused and shocked, but then he said “I wish you’d told me that earlier...that’s the most wonderful name I’ve ever heard, and I shall never forget it for as long as I live.”
Cashew lay silently on her back, gazing up at the shadowed ceiling, wondering why on earth she had been named after a nut. When all of a sudden it dawned on her, as the sun crept through the windows, Cashew realised that she had to make a name for herself. What was the use of having such an off centre name if she wasn’t going to use it to her advantage? So she hopped out of bed, got dressed, brushed her teeth and did all those other routine things that normal people with normal names do in the morning, before stuffing a backpack full of clothes and food and declaring to her mother that she was “going on a wild adventure that no one has ever dreamt of” her mother said “be back in time for supper, dear” and Cashew swung her bag around her shoulders, leaving the house with nothing but excitement on her mind.
Standing outside in the morning air, the long grass under her elf like boots, Cashew came to the conclusion that there was no adventure to be had. She looked across the grassy field, it stretched on as far as she could see. It would be tiring to push through and she doubted it would ever end, but she’d promised herself an adventure and she never broke her word. She adjusted the straps of her backpack picked up a suitable sized stick to aid in walking, and set off.
“Once I’ve seen beyond the grassy field I’ll be famous and everyone will know my name!” she declared aloud to herself “when they hear the name ‘Cashew’ they will no longer laugh, they will instead be reminded of me and the greatness I have achieved!” it didn’t occur to Cashew that the world may already extend beyond her village, that there may actually be other civilisations beyond what she could see. But she was an explorer and was determined to be the first to discover the world beyond her town. Leaving her family and friends behind, she began her journey to “whatever it is that lies beyond the grass!”
After walking nonstop for several intense and exhausting minutes, Cashew threw her bag to the ground and lay on the ground staring up at the sun, she wondered “how long will it take for me to go blind if I continue staring at the sun like this?” but as her eyes began to sting and water she made the wise decision not to venture any further and find the answer. She rubbed her eyes until a gentle hand touched hers and a voice said “staring at the sun like that will make you blind.” Cashew opened her eyes and found a boy standing over her, his hand was outstretched to help her up, she took it and clumsily stood beside him. His hand was twice the size of hers, but he didn’t look nearly as old as her dad.
“Thanks” she said “I just wanted to know how long it would take”
“How long what would take?” the boy asked conversationally
“For me to go blind” she answer “but it hurt too much and I couldn’t bear it any longer”
“I’m not surprised”
“That I was so silly?”
“No. That you gave up”
“I didn’t ‘give up’ I just decided I would rather keep my vision than find out the answer”
“That, you see, is the reason why no one knows the answer. The smarter of us just presume we’ll go blind if we look at the sun, and don’t really care about discovering the answer to your query”
Cashew thought momentarily about questioning him, and arguing that maybe staring at the sun has never even been a cause of blindness. But she felt intimidated by the young man and began to nervously twiddle with the plastic Barbie watch around her dainty wrist.
“What are you doing all by yourself out in this open field anyway? Anything could happen to you and nobody would know” the man had managed to change Cashew’s outlook of a marvellous adventure down a path of self doubt.
“I... um... just wanted to go exploring?” she hoped very much for his approval
“Well you shouldn’t go alone. I wouldn’t want anything bad happening to you” but it was no fun anymore, he had taken the spontaneity and excitement away. “What were you thinking of doing?” he asked, half curious but half in anticipation to get it over with. This made Cashew feel rather stupid, how could she say ‘I was just going to roam around anywhere hoping something exciting would happen,’ he would just think her a fool.
“I’m.... looking for my pet dog...”
“Did he run away? I thought you said you were exploring?”
“Oh... yeah. Um, I’m exploring around to find my lost dog” she was partially satisfied with this response, as it seemed to give her an air of purpose although it didn’t fully support her ‘I just wanted to go exploring’ statement from earlier on, and she knew he was aware of that.
“Right then. Let’s get looking. We don’t want to boil away under the sun” the man began to scan the field with his eyes as he walked forwards. At least her adventure had some sense of direction now, Cashew concluded that this was a good thing, and happily followed the clever boy.
“Spot!” she called to the sky so their search would appear more genuine, he soon mimicked her calls. She was pleased that calling her (however imaginary) dog’s name had been seen as a good move to make.
“What’s your name by the way?” the man asked, after a tiring day of walking forwards and calling to nothing.
“Lucy” Cashew replied, for she didn’t think her name would sit well with the man.
“mm, that’s fairly ordinary” he said with a gentle smile. She wished she’d told him her real name, maybe he would have said ‘wow! That’s very unique and special! I love it’ but no, she had to lie. She was now seen as dull and ordinary and it was entirely her fault.
“I’m just going to go over there for a moment, I’ll be back shortly” the man informed her, pointing towards an identical area of never ending grass just over to the left. The town was no longer in sight, and the sun was beginning to set. Cashew didn’t ask what he was doing, in fear that his sentence would end with ‘...what else would I have been doing, you stupid child.’ He walked so far to the left that, in the hazy black sky, Cashew could no longer see him. She began to think about what he’d said earlier about something bad possibly happening to her if she were alone. The day had been warm, but the night was chilly. The moon shone bright enough that Cashew could make out the intricate details of the friendship bracelet around her ankle. This ignited her on a whirlwind of thoughts: if you wear a bracelet around your ankle is it still a bracelet? Do you call it an anklet even though it was made as a bracelet? Why can’t I tell which threads are purple and which are green in this light? Why is it that the night changes brightness and also colour? Does the sun hold all the colour? She continued to wonder as little girls do, until, very suddenly, she was knocked forward by a galloping horse.
“Shit! Sorry” said a voice, a tanned boy with dark hair swung off his horse and gently helped Cashew to her feet. He looked at her with a pure honesty, she could see into his soul and it was clear he didn’t mean to hurt her for he obviously cared. “Are you hurt? Would you like me to give you a ride on my horse? Where are you off to?” he asked tenderly, he looked at her as if he’d never cared about anything more in his entire life. Like she was special.
“No no” she reassured him “I’m fine”
“You’re shivering” he exclaimed “why didn’t you tell me? Here, take my jacket” and without waiting for her response, he gave Cashew his puffy brown leather coat.
“Thanks”
“What are you doing out here?” he asked, genuinely curious and genuinely concerned
“I was going to go on an adventure”
“Sounds fun! I’d be up for that” Cashew loved that he liked her for who she was and wondered if the other man would have been the same if she’d been honest, but then she remembered how intimated he had made her feel.
“Would you really!? We should go on an adventure together”
“Do you often go on adventures?” he asked
“No, I never have before”
“Then this will be your first real adventure?”
“Yeah, I suppose it will be! We’ll have to make it fun and exciting”
“Fun and exciting is my specialty!” he smiled and winked at her and she felt very content within herself.
“I love your horse” she commented, feeling that she could say anything without being negatively judged
“Why thank you” he bowed “she is the horse of the night, I call her Nightmare”
“She’s beautiful”
“Do you want to ride her?”
“I would love to ride her! That would be very fun and exciting!”
And with that he jumped upon his black mare and swept Cashew up with his hand. As they galloped off into the night Cashew remembered the other man and worried about whether he would feel left behind, but she figured he hadn’t really liked her that much anyway and would probably be better off without her around.
After only a very short while she noticed that the grass land was coming to an end and could see a forest just over in the distance
“Oh! Look! The grassland does end! This is a great adventure” she cried, holding onto his waste so she wouldn’t slip off the lighting fast horse.
“This is only the beginning my lovely” he announced and they sped even faster towards the tall trees. “What’s your name by the way?”
“Cashew”
“Bless you”
“Haha, no, that’s my name!” she laughed
“It’s sweet” he said earnestly. She was so happy she could fly. They were soon at the forest and the pair of them were very excited. He flung her off the horse and they went running about in the forest, she felt as free as a bird and didn’t hesitate to hold back as she leaped about and absorbed how wonderful the forest was. It was during this time, however, that she remembered her mother’s warnings ‘be back by supper,’ it was now long past supper, it was long past bed time. If only she’d stayed with the other man, he would have got her safely home. Even though she couldn’t be honest or herself around him, he would surely have made certain she got home in time. Now she was more worried than she ever had to be, she no longer even felt safe. She knew she couldn’t trust this boy.
“What’s wrong?” the boy asked
“I think I should go home now”
“But we’ve only just started having fun! There’s so much more I need to show you” but Cashew had never wanted to go beyond what was beyond the grass field, she had merely wanted evidence that it ended. She knew it would be fun to stay but never the less it was too much excitement for her to deal with, she was already late and would have to go home.
Without question he saddled up Nightmare and took Cashew home
“Goodnight. We’ll have to do something fun and exciting again someday” she said as she stumbled off his horse and handed him back his jacket
“No problems. I’ll catch you round” he waited until she was safely inside her house and then galloped off into the night. She doubted he would even remember her, he would continue to go on many adventures without her. Cashew felt bad. Not bad as in sick or upset, but bad as in naughty. Her mum felt much the same. She went to bed straight away without supper.
The next morning there came a knock at the door. “It must be the boy with the horse!” Cashew thought when her mum announced that it was for her. But it wasn’t. It was the other man. She was very excited to see him, although she couldn’t fathom why, he seemed a much better friend to have than the ridder of Nightmare
“Hi Lucy” he said sweetly, smiling gently “I just wanted to say sorry for walking off so far. I hope you’ll forgive me, I never meant to abandon you”
“That’s fine, I understand” she said, feeling incredibly guilty for abandoning him and running off with the other boy. She wished very much that she hadn’t left him behind, even if it meant she may not have seen the forest.
“My name isn’t Lucy, by the way” she added impulsively “It’s Cashew” for a second he was confused and shocked, but then he said “I wish you’d told me that earlier...that’s the most wonderful name I’ve ever heard, and I shall never forget it for as long as I live.”
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