Friday, February 26, 2010

Sorry, sorry. I've Got No Head!

I think I kept the Valentines Day layout up for too long, especially since no one even commented my Valentines Day stories..... which is fair enough as I didn't put much though into them. "I know! I'll write segments of a love story everyday leading up to its finale on Valentines Day!" and that was about it for the thought process. Back when I first started this blog I used to live my day to day life and think "I should write a post about that!" but now I just don't live as one with my blog. So sorry about that.
Search "Sorry, I've got no head" on Youtube. Funny little skit show that one.
I just finished O-Week at La Trobe. Yep, I'm telling you what uni I go to (there's one clue for my cyber stalkers.) But let's not talk about that, there are so much more exciting things going on in my life right now, such as only needing to write six more pages in my diary before it's completely full! Woo hoo!
But yeah, no, uni is awesome. Best three days ever.
I'm not sure what I'm doing with this post, it's like I'm having a one way conversation with No One (as No One tends to be my number one reader... (ok, that's not entirely true, I just like to complain sometimes because I feel it may make you read this blog a little more and/or comment more.))
Here's a quote I read in my La Trobe diary: Promote yourself, but do not demote another - Israel Salanter.
I like that quote. It reminds me of my sister, who ran for School Captain but lost to the 'popular girl.' Instead of just being sad for her own bad luck and saying "I really wanted that, I've never been captain of anything" she's been saying "I really wanted that. Chloe gets everything. It isn't fair, she shouldn't have gotten it." It isn't that Chloe shouldn't have won, the problem should be that my sister lost.
Speaking of my sister, she wants to go on a 'real life adventure' with me. So, my dad suggested he blindfolds us, drops us off somewhere in Melbourne, un-blindfolds us and says "now get home" before driving off without giving us money. I'm going to take her to see a film instead.
My university has a moat. It also has ducks that attack you, but I haven't come across them yet.

I hope you enjoyed reading my jumble of jumbles. My next post will be better, I promise. Now, go and search "Sorry, I've got no head" on Youtube, you won't regret it.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Funny Loves Quotes

I was just looking for some funny love quotes (because I'm bored and it's Valentine's day), and came across a website of love quotes. There was link saying "funny love quotes" and so I clicked it.
Among a heap of other 'funny' quotes were these:

"The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else" - that's hilarious! Oh, I almost fell backwards with laughter. It reminds me of that hysterically funny time when I caught my husband with my sister.

"If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go" - ah yes, I admit this one is funny. How can it not be? It rhymes.

"The best thing about me is you" - I can't wait to tell that joke to someone and see how hard they laugh.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."- this is actually a Jesus quote, I'm sure indeed that he intended us all to laugh.

"They say loving you gives pains and full of sacrifices But I'll rather take pains and lots of sacrifices than not to be love by you" -I suppose the grammar mistakes in this are laughable.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"- that's my favourite 'love quote' actually, I heard it in Robin Hood a few years ago.... the cartoon one where they're foxes.

"Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear."- I have nothing to say but John Lennon wrote it.

"The ones that you love the most are usually the ones that hurt you the most." - and I'll finish with that most hilarious quote and leave you all begging for more laughs.

Happy Valentines Day.

Valentines Day

Wally was disheartened. He was very glad that Samantha had given up her Friday night to spend time with him (he even bought her a silk shawl to express how happy he was that she was dedicating the evening to him.)
Wally was now driving down to Hamingtons in his red Porsche (which was, of course, Samantha's favourite of his five cars), to secure his reservation and arrive promptly on time to ensure Samantha wouldn't have to wait around for him. He wore his best suit and tie and the bouquet of flowers on the passenger seat beside him was bursting with colour, Samantha's favourite flowers certainly did look amazing next to each other.
He had booked a table for 7.30 and so, naturally, arrived at 6.45. His biggest fear was that Samantha would be there first, in which case he would risk looking like a bad boyfriend. Of course, she wasn't there forty-five minutes earlier than there set meeting time. Wally got out of his car and headed into the restaurant (flowers and gift in hand.) The waiter led him to the table reserved under Clever, and Wally sat down, smoothing the front of his pants nervously. He thanked the waiter. And then he waited. He waited for forty-five minutes. Then she walked in. his heart skipped a beat and he let himself simply look at her beauty for several seconds.

***

It had come down to the worst for Nicholas Galipolas. His attempts to win Samantha over with his dashingly good looks were.... most nonexistent, but he had promised himself to take her out on Valentines Day, and he would withhold to this promise.
Having been innocently stalker her for the past few days, Nicholas was well aware that she would be at Hamingtons with her boyfriend (who, according to Nicholas, would not be her boyfriend for much longer at all) at 7.30. So he had, in his opinion, created a most ingenious plan, involving going to the aforementioned restaurant, doing his hair for an extra half hour, shoe polish and floating plastic fish. It was a sure-to-succseed plan.
However, when he arrived at the restaurant, hid behind a bush and peered through the window, he could only see her boyfriend sitting by himself. After a short while, she walked in.

***

Nicholas had not responded in anyway to Juniper's note, and so, she had promptly and proudly given up. She wasn't as crazy about him as she had originally thought, and the idea of never being with him didn't seem so dreadful anymore.
She picked out her most dressy dress, put on her only shoes that matched said dress, did her hair and makeup and drove herself to Hamingtons. Upon arriving, she glanced through the window of the restaurant, saw Wally sitting alone by himself without anyone with him, and proceeded inside.
He lifted his head and seemed to stare at her forever. To her surprise, she didn't mind.
"You look amazing" he almost whispered as she stood over the table. He spoke in a tone Juniper had never heard him use before, it was somewhat different from the 'I love your top, it's really pretty' casual-tone he usually used when complementing her. She wasn't unnerved by it.
"I know Samantha says she's coming, but I promised you I would be here if she didn't and knowing her there's a high chance she won't come" Wally's face fell as if he had been thinking the same thing and yet hadn't fully accepted it yet. Having been his best friend for several years, Juniper knew that this was what he was thinking. "It's only just gone 7.30 though, so if she comes I'll leave right away" although she said the words, both of them knew Samantha wouldn't be coming.
"Sit down" Wally sighed, a tinge of excitement in his voice (reminded Juniper of when he was twelve and had pretended to be sorry for breaking his mothers vase, when really he was excited because he would be sent to his room where he could play his favourite game of jailer-man.)
She sat down and they talked. They talked for two hours, ordering food after the first fifteen minutes and forgetting to look up and check Samantha hadn't walked in after the first half hour.
"Let's go home" Wally suggested, all disappointment and embarrassment he once had was gone, and the fact that Samantha had stood him up on Valentines Day seemed like an issue from years ago.
"You know" began Juniper "if everyone in the world suddenly vanished, and it was just me and you left forever. I would be happy"
"So would I" Wally agreed and they left holding hands.

***

Samantha Splendid lay on her back on top of the pink sheets of her bed, phone to ear. Still talking nonstop since midday with her best friend.

Caitlin: I wish I had someone special to spend Valentines Day with.
Samantha: me too. I mean, I've got Wally, but he's barely 'someone special' you know.
Caitlin: are you seeing him tonight?
Samantha: yeah at like 7.30 I think. I'm hoping he got me those ruby earings I pointed out to him on Friday!
Caitlin: 7.30? Sam, it's 9.

After swearing loudly, jumping up and breaking the vase beside her bed and tripping over the glass slippers Wally had got her, Samantha rushed out of the house and drove straight to Hamingtons. Well, not straight to Hamingtons. She only managed to get so lost that the ten minute drive became more of a forty minute drive. He would still be waiting for her though, so she wasn't overly worried. He was always like that, understanding and considerate. She began to feel more fondly towards him as she pulled into the restaurant.
Samantha tried to ignore that not one of his five cars were in the carpark. She went inside and asked the waiter for the table reserved under Clever
"There must be some mistake!" she exclaimed when he told her there was no longer a table reserved under that name.
She left in a huff. Collapsed onto the stairs outside and texted Caitlin right away.
"He left a few minutes ago with some other girl" a voice from beside Samantha said. She turned to see a well groomed boy in tight black jeans sitting beside her.
"Excuse me?"
Upon hearing Nicholas' explanation, involving stalking, hair-gel and plastic floating fish, Samantha was well impressed.
They left the restaurant together, both texting their friends on the way to Samantha's car.

The End.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Valentines Day- Part 4

Samantha Splendid had been asked out by seven boys in the space of one hour, had rejected seven boys in the space of one hour and had ensured that her rich, ever-giving boyfriend could spend the night with her. Ah Friday night.
She strutted her way down the school corridor, smiling at friends and frowning at winking boys. There was Wally, always waiting by her locker (or mere seconds away if not.) She was slightly attracted to him, but incredibly attracted to the silver necklace he held in his hand for her. She kind of liked him as a person, but loved the diamond earings he had got for her last week.

And that, boy and girls, is an example of a shallow minded person. We shall see what happens to Samantha in the next instalment of Valentines Day. Good night and sweet dreams.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Valentines Day- Part 3

Wednesday evening, chatting away for five hours on the phone. Typical night for Samantha Splendid. The darkly lit library in which Wally Clever sat, calling his girlfriend over and over again (only to be rudely answered with the droning noise of her engagement tone), was large yet cosy, had cost millions of dollars to build along with the pool and yet was barely used.
He slammed the phone down. Samantha was never really there, Wally always felt that he was just another story she could tell her ever gossiping friends. How could he book a table at her favourite restaurant for Sunday, if he didn't even know whether she could make it. That would be something to tell her friends "my boyfriend did have something special organised for Valentines Day, but I was too busy talking to you so (not knowing if I could make it), he didn't organise it."

Wally shook his head, trying to get his negative thoughts of Samantha out, she was after all, the prettiest and most popular girl in school. He should have counted himself lucky.
Having finished all his homework, studied for the math test he didn't have until next Tuesday, tutored his neighbours son and practiced the violin, Wally had dedicated the final hour before bed to 'free time', during which he had planned to call Samantha and reserve a seat at Hamingtons.
Now he called his best friend instead.
Juniper: hello?
Wally: hey June, it's Wally.
Juniper: hey! So, can Samantha go for dinner on Sunday?
Wally: I don't know, she won't answer my calls.
Juniper: Oh, don't worry about it. I'm sure she'll be free. Book a table anyway... if she can't go I'll go with you.
Wally: thanks. I think I will just go and book it. Don't you have a date with that Nicholas guy that night though?
Juniper: I doubt it.
Wally: didn't you ask him?
Juniper: I gave him a note yesterday in English, but today in class nothing really happened..... except he kind of frowned at me when I smiled at him.
Wally: oh.
Juniper: it's ok. Maybe he's just shy?
Wally: um... yeah. Maybe. Or maybe he's a... blind idiot? I can't think of any other reason he wouldn't want to go out with you.
Juniper: or maybe he just doesn't like me...... I'll talk to him about the note tomorrow.
Wally: ok. I wish you the best of luck Juni.
Juniper: Thanks, I'll need it. I have to go finish my homework, so I'll see you tomorrow.
Wally: ok, see you. Oh, and thanks again for saying you'd go to Hamingtons with me.... but I do hope everything turns out the way we want it to.
Juniper: me too. I'm sure it will. For you anyway. See you tomorrow Wally.
Wally: bye June.

He put down the phone and didn't hesitate to pick it up again. He pressed Samantha's numbers down quickly and instinctively. No answer. He went to bed.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Valentines Day- Part 2

Nicholas Galipolas stood combing his hair, in front of the mirror in the school bathrooms. Several boys came and left the bathroom, but Nicholas continued to groom the thick blonde mop until every hair was perfectly in place. Little did he realise that this did no more than excentuate his rather oversized head.
He placed the comb in the back pocket of his tightly fitted black jeans (clearly displaying that he does indeed look after his hair, for all who might happen to walk behind him), and left the bathroom. Making sure, of course, to wink at his reflection first.
The coming Sunday was valentines day and Nicholas needed a date. Not just any date. Samantha Splendid. He had no plan of attack or ideas for the actual date, but he knew that by the end of the day Samantha would be his.

English class was dull. None of Nicholas' friends or Samantha were in his class. He spent the majority of the time texting Peter and Fred, in fact, he was so focused on their hair-product conversation that when he looked up, the room was empty. Except for some average looking, green-eyed girl who stood over his desk with an envelope in her hand.
She placed the envelope on top of Nicholas' grammar book, smiled nervously and scurried out the room. He opened it suspiciously, it read:

Dear Nicholas,
Will you be my Valentine?
June.

"Who the fuck is June?" Nicholas whispered to himself before gathering up his books, throwing the note in the bin and leaving the room.

And there she was. Samantha Splendid. Waiting for him outside the classroom? She looked straight through him with her crystal eyes, her strawberry lips smiled beyond where Nicholas stood. Nicholas turned around, most anxiously, to find a frizzy haired boy in a blue knitted jumper wave in his direction. No, not his direction. Samantha's direction. The boy took her hand, she kissed him on the cheek, he blushed, they walked away.
"Nerd" Nicholas muttered under his breath, for he always stereotyped his fellow pupils.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Valentines Day- Part 1

The air was still and the sun beat heavily down upon the rain-hungry plants beyond the window as Juniper Downington listened to 'you're nobody until somebody loves you' blast through her speakers. A small stream of water trickled down her cheek, she tried to blink more tears from her eyes, but in all honesty, she just wasn't as upset as she thought she was.
Juniper dramatically pulled the plug of her CD player, as if the music was just too much for her to handle. A deafening silence filled the room. A bird whistled outside.
She picked up a pen in her forcefully shaking hand, sat down at her desk and began to write:

Dea-

She crossed it out, screwed up the paper and began again on a fresh piece.

To Nicholas,

She read the words over and over again. They just weren't right. She picked up a new bit of paper.

Hey Nicholas,

No. No. Completely off. Straight in the bin. She considered these first crucial words until she came to

Dear Nicholas,

Perfect. She quickly continued:

You don't know me very well, but I sit two seats behind you in English. You may not even remember who I am, we haven't really talked. You might recall that one day we were paired up together for a grammar exercise? But then again you probably wouldn't remember that because you were texting the whole time. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I like you and was wondering if you wanted to be my Valentine?
Love June.

She read the note several times over, crossing certain lines out and making various adjustments until she was left with:

Dear Nicholas,
Will you be my Valentine?
June.

Before she allowed herself to change her mind, Juniper placed the note into a small envelope and licked it shut. Tomorrow she was going to give the note to Nicholas.


Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Thoughts of a Thoughtless Day

11.11 is such a special time of day. Two special little minutes everyday of the week.

I don't know why we have deathly yellow sticky sticks on our lemon tree, why is the death of poor little lemon-hungry bugs less important than the health of our lemons?

I told my friend we would be pen pals and that I would be the first to write as I have her address. I hope she isn't waiting for the letter I haven't written.

The Beatles albums are all piled up on my desk. And yet I sit in silence. Rain is more than silence.

Yesterday I felt at home at a train station which wasn't mine. I was thirsty but the vending machine didn't work, so the garbage man got me a lemonade from out the back.

My sister got a phone. It angered me.

The sound of a clock ticking is the loudest sound of all.

When my parents leave the house I begin my rebellious mission of turning off their four conflicting radios. Then I am free.

David stares at me as I type. I have rotated the statue several times, but the naked figure always returns its gaze to my window. I think he's haunted.

I didn't have an idea for a post but felt like writing one, the result of such a feeling can be observed above.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Girls: A Generalisation

I was just on Facebook and came across some group called "50 things boys don't know about girls," it made me laugh because I felt sorry for any boy who reads the page and believes every point is true for all girls. Although it was partly inaccurate and made enormous generalisations, it was entertaining enough to read until the end. So, I thought I would write up one from my own experience and that of my friends.


Dear boys,


1. Girls tend to have a fantasy view on love and spend their time looking for Prince Charming, but in the end reality is so much better, because it's real. Girls discover this when they meet someone and all that someone does is smile at them, but that makes their world complete.


2. Girl always like to be told they're pretty. Even if it's their sister telling them or just a friend. If you tell a girl they look nice they won't assume you have a crush on them, they'll just feel good about themselves.


3. A girl never thinks a boy likes them until they say "I like you" until then, it's just mind games and confusion.


4. Girls analyse every little thing the boy they like does. If a boy signs off MSN with xx every time they talk and then one day signs of with xxx, the girl will be very excited and think about it constantly until the next time they talk.


5. Girls never mind if you spontaneously take their hand. Even if you're just friends, it's always nice.


6. Sometimes a girl is quiet because all she's thinking is "I can't believe I'm sitting next to him! This is fantastic" but she can't exactly say that, so instead she says nothing.


7. If a girl is talkative online and with her friends, but not when you're around,then she likes you, and can't get her thoughts together quick enough when you're around. Stringing a sentence together can be hard when you want it to be perfect, so often it's easier just not to say anything. Usually all they want to do is sit some place quietly and talk to you, but when it comes around to it it's surprisingly hard.


8. Girls like to be 100% certain that the boy they like likes them back before they confess their feelings. This is because friendships can be destroyed if it isn't dealt with properly. If a boy doesn't have a crush on a girl, the girl would want the conversation to go like this: "I like you" followed by the boy saying something along the lines of "I thought we were just friends? I mean, I really like you, but I didn't think we were any more than just friends. Can we still be friends forever?" but she's scared it will go like this: "I like you" responded to with "oh….. ok….. um….. I have to go now, I'm late for… this thing." Because that's pretty much the end of everything. They would rather be friends forever, than attempt to be more than friends and loose everything.


9. Girls think they're being exceptionally obvious and giving away their feelings pretty clearly. I haven't figured out if this actually comes across like we think it does, maybe it does.


10. Girls link the things boys say back to their own relationship. For example: my friend likes a boy who joined a Facebook group called "I used to like a girl and now I hope she dies in a hole" now my friend is somewhat worried that he wants HER to go die in a hole.


11. Girl like it when you remember facts about them. "I got you this blue flower, because I know blue is your favourite colour" or "this (whatever) reminded me of you, I hope you like it" makes girls all the more happy because it's more personal than an expensive golden ring that could be given to any girl.


12. Money doesn't matter.