A Football match is like a snowflake: No two are the same, but if you've seen one, you've seen them all.Wednesday, December 31, 2008
AFL
A Football match is like a snowflake: No two are the same, but if you've seen one, you've seen them all.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Luke’s Confession
Everything about Christmas was great, but to save blog space let’s skip the part where we open up Christmas stockings and get various gifts including an orange. Also: the part where we spend half an hour driving to church, only to catch the last ten minutes of the mass and then driving home again (which wasn’t particularly a bad thing, although it may have been if we weren’t all in high Christmas sprits.)
I could mention the big meatless lunch, but then you may question me on whether or not I’m a vegetarian and I’ll have to tell you that it’s only my parents who share this dietary desire. Then you’ll ask me what we had instead of meat and I’ll spend a while telling you about our Yorkshire pudding, presumably you won’t know what a Yorkshire pudding is and I’ll have to describe it’s bread like texture and stumble along until I find a suitable description for its taste.
I should move right along from explaining my second Christmas to you. The one that began with a three hour drive to my grandmas (at the beginning of which we stopped in at Watsonia so my dad could get a coffee and argue with the friendly woman for five minutes about the price of it. (“It’s not five dollars!” he demanded several times “yes, it is” the woman repeated as kindly and patiently as possible.)
I may as well completely avoid the third Christmas, which was hosted at our house for some reason (it always used to be at my Grandmas.) I should probably leave out the bit where I stay up until 1am making a calendar. Because most people don’t even think 1am is late and most people won’t understand the point in putting so much effort into my 2009 calendar (much like no one understands why I bothered to spend two days making my family Christmas cards.)
If I leave out all that stuff, then I should be able to hold your attention long enough for you to read the next instalment in The End of Time:
Luke and Annie continued to cautiously approach the veranda. Luke was well aware that Annie was beyond late for school already, but he felt an unbound trust towards the old man – despite the fact he had shot Annie, mere seconds ago. Luke looked at Annie, to make sure she too was in favour of going into the old man’s house, and she smiled slightly.
“Come along you two” sweetly ordered the man with one electric purple eye “the cookies are fresh out of the oven. Hurry along, they won’t stay warm forever” and with that, Luke and Annie obediently followed the man into his shabby mansion.
They walked into the entrance hall - Luke hoped they wouldn’t have to climb the broken stairs up to the next level. The man’s house was dark because all the drapes were closed shut. There was dust covering all open surfaces. Spider webs hung in every place a spider could possibly manage to weave one (the webs were dusty too and appeared to have been unoccupied for quite some time.) The old man’s house looked as though no one had lived in it for years, the grandfather clock had stopped ticking and rats seemed to own the place.
Luke and Annie silently followed the old man to the kitchen, which was equally as neglected as the entrance hall. “Please. Take a seat” the old man said, gesturing towards a couple of overly dusty wooden chairs. Luke didn’t particularly want dust all over his pants, but he also didn’t want to appear rude by dusting the chair off. So they sat down without a word.
The old man slid open a small curtain above the sink – which was filled with unwashed dishes- a burst of light sprung through the window, forcing Luke to squint a little. The old man’s electric purple eye glistened in the sun.
“What happened before?” demanded Luke, his newfound trust for the man didn’t provide an explanation for his sisters sudden reawakening from the dead.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about son” the old man said, but Luke wasn’t a fool and could tell that he knew perfectly well what had happened.
“You shot my sister!” Luke yelled “or was I just imagining that!?” he added sarcastically. The old man sighed an ‘ok, fine, you got me’ sigh and sat down opposite Luke and Annie.
“Do you believe in magic?” the old man asked, leaning forward. Luke blurted out “no” and Annie, just as hastily, said “yes.” Luke shot his sister a warning look, but she didn’t back out of her opinion.
“I don’t know exactly what happened” the man confessed honestly, trying to calm Luke down “but I do know that it was all in your imagination”
“What!?” Luke raged “I didn’t imagine that! I saw you shoot my sister! I saw the blood!”
“Calm down Luke” the man suggested warily. There was a silence as Luke analysed what the man had just said.
“...how... how did you know my name?” Luke questioned, lowering his voice from the previous outburst.
“How do you feel about your powers?” the man asked, then in an attempt to completely sway the conversation from Luke’s ‘how did you know my name’ question, the man stood up and abruptly served out cookies and tea for the three of them.
“The only power I have, is being able to tell who will win reality TV shows just from watching the first episode” Luke admitted, starting to wonder if the man was building up to saying ‘you’re a wizard, Luke’ but he doubted that he would be the next Harry Potter.
“I see. I see” the old man was completely satisfied that Luke had no real powers.
They ate and drank in silence because Luke knew the man wouldn’t give a straight answer to any of the questions swarming his mind.
“You’re sister has been very quiet” the man pointed out “is she ok?” Luke looked at Annie, she was timidly chewing on a biscuit.
“She’s fine” Luke ensured the man “she’s not usually shy. Only around people she thinks are better than her... and people she wants to like her” Luke was proud of himself for figuring his sister out in such a way.
“Ah” the man agreed in understanding, as if he knew several people with the same personality trait “my late wife was much the same. Whenever I was with her she was always very shy” Luke had to suppress a laugh, for the man’s dead wife was likely to have been shy all the time.
Once they had finished their snack, Luke pressed the man for further answers “what’s your name?” he insisted. But, just as Luke had asked his question, Annie fell from her seat to the floor “Annie!” cried Luke, and bent down beside her for the second time that day... or possibly the first (Luke wasn’t sure were reality began and imagination ended anymore.)
“Don’t panic Luke” the old man said calmly “she’s only sleeping”
“You drugged her food!?” Luke yelled, accusing the man of the first possibility that had come into his head.
“Yes” the man said simply “because I need to talk to you” Luke gave into the man’s plan, left his sister on the floor, and sat back in his seat.
“Who are you? Did you shoot my sister? Am I going crazy? Why did you ask me if I believed in magic? Are you a wizard? Am I a wizard? How did you know my name?....” the man interrupted Luke with polite assertiveness.
“You must have many questions” stated the man obviously “and all shall be answered in due time. But first, you must answer my question. Do you believe in magic?”
“I already told you” objected Luke impatiently “I don’t believe in magic”
“Then why did you suspect me to be a wizard?” the man observed sceptically, then added “until you admit your belief in magic, I cannot divulge any of my secrets” he leant back in his chair, apparently willing to wait for Luke to ‘admit his belief.’
“I believe something’s seriously fucked up” began Luke “whether it’s in my head, or yours.... or magic is the reason... I’m willing to hear any explanation.... even if it is magic.” Luke announced, hoping it would be enough to get an answer out of the old man.
“There’s a difference between being ‘willing to hear’ about magic.... and believing what you hear” Luke groaned at the crazy, electric purple eyed mans comment. There would be no way of getting any answers unless Luke confessed his belief in magic, a confession he hadn’t even accepted himself yet.
Luke became increasingly edgy and impatient as the silent minutes crept by. He looked to Annie, she hadn’t even stirred since her sudden collapse to the floor.
“She’s not dead is she?” asked Luke, even though he trusted her to be asleep.
“No, she’s not dead” the old man sighed “But, she will wake up soon. So if you want any answers you’d better hurry up”
Luke thought silently for a while. He weighed up all the reasons why he should and shouldn’t believe in magic.
“Alright” Luke decided to give in “I do believe in magic. I didn’t until today, but I can’t think of any explanation that can explain how my sister didn’t really get shot... the only explanations I can think up... are magical.”
As Luke spoke his words he began to believe in them, but he convinced the old man more than he convinced himself.
“In that case” rejoiced the man “it’s high time I did some explaining.”
I could mention the big meatless lunch, but then you may question me on whether or not I’m a vegetarian and I’ll have to tell you that it’s only my parents who share this dietary desire. Then you’ll ask me what we had instead of meat and I’ll spend a while telling you about our Yorkshire pudding, presumably you won’t know what a Yorkshire pudding is and I’ll have to describe it’s bread like texture and stumble along until I find a suitable description for its taste.
I should move right along from explaining my second Christmas to you. The one that began with a three hour drive to my grandmas (at the beginning of which we stopped in at Watsonia so my dad could get a coffee and argue with the friendly woman for five minutes about the price of it. (“It’s not five dollars!” he demanded several times “yes, it is” the woman repeated as kindly and patiently as possible.)
I may as well completely avoid the third Christmas, which was hosted at our house for some reason (it always used to be at my Grandmas.) I should probably leave out the bit where I stay up until 1am making a calendar. Because most people don’t even think 1am is late and most people won’t understand the point in putting so much effort into my 2009 calendar (much like no one understands why I bothered to spend two days making my family Christmas cards.)
If I leave out all that stuff, then I should be able to hold your attention long enough for you to read the next instalment in The End of Time:
Luke and Annie continued to cautiously approach the veranda. Luke was well aware that Annie was beyond late for school already, but he felt an unbound trust towards the old man – despite the fact he had shot Annie, mere seconds ago. Luke looked at Annie, to make sure she too was in favour of going into the old man’s house, and she smiled slightly.
“Come along you two” sweetly ordered the man with one electric purple eye “the cookies are fresh out of the oven. Hurry along, they won’t stay warm forever” and with that, Luke and Annie obediently followed the man into his shabby mansion.
They walked into the entrance hall - Luke hoped they wouldn’t have to climb the broken stairs up to the next level. The man’s house was dark because all the drapes were closed shut. There was dust covering all open surfaces. Spider webs hung in every place a spider could possibly manage to weave one (the webs were dusty too and appeared to have been unoccupied for quite some time.) The old man’s house looked as though no one had lived in it for years, the grandfather clock had stopped ticking and rats seemed to own the place.
Luke and Annie silently followed the old man to the kitchen, which was equally as neglected as the entrance hall. “Please. Take a seat” the old man said, gesturing towards a couple of overly dusty wooden chairs. Luke didn’t particularly want dust all over his pants, but he also didn’t want to appear rude by dusting the chair off. So they sat down without a word.
The old man slid open a small curtain above the sink – which was filled with unwashed dishes- a burst of light sprung through the window, forcing Luke to squint a little. The old man’s electric purple eye glistened in the sun.
“What happened before?” demanded Luke, his newfound trust for the man didn’t provide an explanation for his sisters sudden reawakening from the dead.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about son” the old man said, but Luke wasn’t a fool and could tell that he knew perfectly well what had happened.
“You shot my sister!” Luke yelled “or was I just imagining that!?” he added sarcastically. The old man sighed an ‘ok, fine, you got me’ sigh and sat down opposite Luke and Annie.
“Do you believe in magic?” the old man asked, leaning forward. Luke blurted out “no” and Annie, just as hastily, said “yes.” Luke shot his sister a warning look, but she didn’t back out of her opinion.
“I don’t know exactly what happened” the man confessed honestly, trying to calm Luke down “but I do know that it was all in your imagination”
“What!?” Luke raged “I didn’t imagine that! I saw you shoot my sister! I saw the blood!”
“Calm down Luke” the man suggested warily. There was a silence as Luke analysed what the man had just said.
“...how... how did you know my name?” Luke questioned, lowering his voice from the previous outburst.
“How do you feel about your powers?” the man asked, then in an attempt to completely sway the conversation from Luke’s ‘how did you know my name’ question, the man stood up and abruptly served out cookies and tea for the three of them.
“The only power I have, is being able to tell who will win reality TV shows just from watching the first episode” Luke admitted, starting to wonder if the man was building up to saying ‘you’re a wizard, Luke’ but he doubted that he would be the next Harry Potter.
“I see. I see” the old man was completely satisfied that Luke had no real powers.
They ate and drank in silence because Luke knew the man wouldn’t give a straight answer to any of the questions swarming his mind.
“You’re sister has been very quiet” the man pointed out “is she ok?” Luke looked at Annie, she was timidly chewing on a biscuit.
“She’s fine” Luke ensured the man “she’s not usually shy. Only around people she thinks are better than her... and people she wants to like her” Luke was proud of himself for figuring his sister out in such a way.
“Ah” the man agreed in understanding, as if he knew several people with the same personality trait “my late wife was much the same. Whenever I was with her she was always very shy” Luke had to suppress a laugh, for the man’s dead wife was likely to have been shy all the time.
Once they had finished their snack, Luke pressed the man for further answers “what’s your name?” he insisted. But, just as Luke had asked his question, Annie fell from her seat to the floor “Annie!” cried Luke, and bent down beside her for the second time that day... or possibly the first (Luke wasn’t sure were reality began and imagination ended anymore.)
“Don’t panic Luke” the old man said calmly “she’s only sleeping”
“You drugged her food!?” Luke yelled, accusing the man of the first possibility that had come into his head.
“Yes” the man said simply “because I need to talk to you” Luke gave into the man’s plan, left his sister on the floor, and sat back in his seat.
“Who are you? Did you shoot my sister? Am I going crazy? Why did you ask me if I believed in magic? Are you a wizard? Am I a wizard? How did you know my name?....” the man interrupted Luke with polite assertiveness.
“You must have many questions” stated the man obviously “and all shall be answered in due time. But first, you must answer my question. Do you believe in magic?”
“I already told you” objected Luke impatiently “I don’t believe in magic”
“Then why did you suspect me to be a wizard?” the man observed sceptically, then added “until you admit your belief in magic, I cannot divulge any of my secrets” he leant back in his chair, apparently willing to wait for Luke to ‘admit his belief.’
“I believe something’s seriously fucked up” began Luke “whether it’s in my head, or yours.... or magic is the reason... I’m willing to hear any explanation.... even if it is magic.” Luke announced, hoping it would be enough to get an answer out of the old man.
“There’s a difference between being ‘willing to hear’ about magic.... and believing what you hear” Luke groaned at the crazy, electric purple eyed mans comment. There would be no way of getting any answers unless Luke confessed his belief in magic, a confession he hadn’t even accepted himself yet.
Luke became increasingly edgy and impatient as the silent minutes crept by. He looked to Annie, she hadn’t even stirred since her sudden collapse to the floor.
“She’s not dead is she?” asked Luke, even though he trusted her to be asleep.
“No, she’s not dead” the old man sighed “But, she will wake up soon. So if you want any answers you’d better hurry up”
Luke thought silently for a while. He weighed up all the reasons why he should and shouldn’t believe in magic.
“Alright” Luke decided to give in “I do believe in magic. I didn’t until today, but I can’t think of any explanation that can explain how my sister didn’t really get shot... the only explanations I can think up... are magical.”
As Luke spoke his words he began to believe in them, but he convinced the old man more than he convinced himself.
“In that case” rejoiced the man “it’s high time I did some explaining.”
Friday, December 26, 2008
Merry Christmas!
Sister: I got dad a present today!! What did you get him?
Me: I’m going to get him a chocolate fondue fountain. What did you get?
Sister: ... a handkerchief
Christmas Eve:
Sister: How will Santa get down the chimney if we have this metal fence thing in front of the fireplace?
Me: he rides in a flying, reindeer pulled sleigh and delivers presents to every child in one night and you’re wondering how he’s going to push aside a light bit of metal?
Sister (laughs, because despite the fact that I was insulting her logic, she rather likes it when the attentions on her): yeah but, we could still make it as easy as possible for him and just move it.
I agreed, but we never ended up moving the thing because she couldn’t be bothered doing it herself.
I would write more but I don’t have any time. Oh, and just a pre-warning: you won’t be hearing from me until Monday.
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas’ and are having fun holidays!
Me: I’m going to get him a chocolate fondue fountain. What did you get?
Sister: ... a handkerchief
Christmas Eve:
Sister: How will Santa get down the chimney if we have this metal fence thing in front of the fireplace?
Me: he rides in a flying, reindeer pulled sleigh and delivers presents to every child in one night and you’re wondering how he’s going to push aside a light bit of metal?
Sister (laughs, because despite the fact that I was insulting her logic, she rather likes it when the attentions on her): yeah but, we could still make it as easy as possible for him and just move it.
I agreed, but we never ended up moving the thing because she couldn’t be bothered doing it herself.
I would write more but I don’t have any time. Oh, and just a pre-warning: you won’t be hearing from me until Monday.
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas’ and are having fun holidays!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Blueray
My dad bought a Blueray player the other week- our house isn’t complete without the latest piece of technology- and I passionately hate the thing. When people ask “why don’t you like the Blueray?” I always say “because there’s no need for one when we’ve already got a DVD player” but the real answer goes a bit more like this:
In a time not so long ago, people watched videos. Then, one day, The Man was walking home from the video store and he said to himself “this video is too heavy and thick for my liking, it would be a lot more convenient to make it flat... and while we’re at it, let’s make it circular instead of rectangular... I’ve always rather fancied circles” and so the DVD was invented. After a while people stopped renting videos and began renting DVDs instead, they threw out their chunky video players and rejoiced over the clearer vision that came with DVDs (they were also rather fond of the circular shape.)
Soon videos were virtually extinct, video stores started keeping them on the far, dingy back wall of the store or on the bottom row of the DVD stands. Videos were weeping in despair at the rejection. Offcourse the argument The Man gave when confronted in the Court of Justice for Video Rights was “we must progress. It is human nature to improve what we’ve got, especially when improving is easily achieved and does not harm anyone.” The poor videos had no rebuttal for The Man’s defence, and instead of taking their revenge on the human race they went for a more harmless approach- rotting away miserably on the back walls of video stores.
DVDs were dearly loved. There were no ads to fast forward at the beginning of the film, the picture was clearer and special effects were a greatly enjoyed novelty. DVDs were especially commended for not having to be rewound once you reached the end. The Man was ecstatic, he had never dreamed of DVDs being such a success, all he wanted was something less bulky to carry home from the video store. He was so ecstatic, that he died of over-enthusiasm (yes, you can die of over-enthusiasm.) The Man’s son was greatly grieved (let’s call his son The Man) so he devised a plan to invent an even better way of watching films at home.
The Man invented the Blueray. The Man improved DVDs in the same way his father had improved videos. The Man put handles on the DVD cover- to further improve the task of carrying home a film from the video store- and minimised the size of the cover. It weighed less- and was easier- to carry home a Blueray, than to carry home a DVD. The Man had done his dad proud.
Bluerays were a hit (despite the fact that they cost more than DVDs and that there was less information on the cover- due to a decrease in cover size.) At first Bluerays received a small area of shelving at the front of all video stores, but after a short while they overtook the majority of the store and became the dominating form of home film watching. Videos were completely exterminated, they no longer had any place in our world. DVDs were moved to the back walls and bottom shelves, they couldn’t beat the crispy clearness of the Blueray disks.
People sold their DVD players and willingly replaced them with Blueray players. DVDs didn’t even get a Court of Justice.
The Man was ecstatic, he done his father proud. He was so ecstatic, that he did of over-enthusiasm. Doctors started to wonder if death by over-enthusiasm was genetic, but they let it pass. Unfortunately The Man didn’t have a son... but he did have a nephew (let’s call him The Man.)
The Man couldn’t care less about his uncle’s passing. But he did care about the money he would make from designing a better way to watch movies. The Man demolished all video stores (and while he was at it, he got rid of CD stores as well.) The poor DVDs were sold off to manufacturing companies to be recycled into goods.
At this time in history the internet was widely used, almost everyone had access to a computer. The Man opened a new video store, it was to be the only video store in the world, and it existed merely in cyberspace. “My uncles father complained of having to carry bulky things home from the video store!? Well now no one will ever have to go to the video store ever again! Muhahahahaha” off course The Man wasn’t a bad guy, but he did enjoy an evil laugh ever now and again to celebrate his accomplishments.
People of the world loved The Mans idea. They loved it so much that they demolished all stores. Not just video and technology related stores but clothes shops, restaurants, bookstores, chocolate cafes, doorknob stores and every other kind of shop that excited. It became possible to download and order EVERYTHING off the internet.
The Man was so greatly admired and idolised by the people that he became The King. Earlier I said that The King was not evil.... things change. The king became so wrapped up in power and success that he went insane. In his sleep he would hear the voice of his uncle’s father saying “we must progress” (which was rather odd because he never met his uncle’s father.)
So The King progressed. It wasn’t enough that the whole world survived through the internet, The King wanted to be even greater so he invented a 3D home film viewing experience. At first it was lame and people became fed up with the dodgy 3D glasses and their unrealisticness (which at this point in time was a real word.) So The King invented 3D film like no one could have ever anticipated. It was so life like that the people became confused between reality and film viewing. They couldn’t tell when they were asleep and when they were awake. When 4D film watching came into play, people couldn’t tell when they’d cut themselves cooking or when they were merely watching a film that involved butcher knives. The King had progressed too far.
Technology had taken over.
Weekly Helpful Hint: When someone asks you why you don’t like Bluerays say: “because there’s no need for one when we’ve already got a DVD player” and avoid telling them a 991 word story about technology domination.
In a time not so long ago, people watched videos. Then, one day, The Man was walking home from the video store and he said to himself “this video is too heavy and thick for my liking, it would be a lot more convenient to make it flat... and while we’re at it, let’s make it circular instead of rectangular... I’ve always rather fancied circles” and so the DVD was invented. After a while people stopped renting videos and began renting DVDs instead, they threw out their chunky video players and rejoiced over the clearer vision that came with DVDs (they were also rather fond of the circular shape.)
Soon videos were virtually extinct, video stores started keeping them on the far, dingy back wall of the store or on the bottom row of the DVD stands. Videos were weeping in despair at the rejection. Offcourse the argument The Man gave when confronted in the Court of Justice for Video Rights was “we must progress. It is human nature to improve what we’ve got, especially when improving is easily achieved and does not harm anyone.” The poor videos had no rebuttal for The Man’s defence, and instead of taking their revenge on the human race they went for a more harmless approach- rotting away miserably on the back walls of video stores.
DVDs were dearly loved. There were no ads to fast forward at the beginning of the film, the picture was clearer and special effects were a greatly enjoyed novelty. DVDs were especially commended for not having to be rewound once you reached the end. The Man was ecstatic, he had never dreamed of DVDs being such a success, all he wanted was something less bulky to carry home from the video store. He was so ecstatic, that he died of over-enthusiasm (yes, you can die of over-enthusiasm.) The Man’s son was greatly grieved (let’s call his son The Man) so he devised a plan to invent an even better way of watching films at home.
The Man invented the Blueray. The Man improved DVDs in the same way his father had improved videos. The Man put handles on the DVD cover- to further improve the task of carrying home a film from the video store- and minimised the size of the cover. It weighed less- and was easier- to carry home a Blueray, than to carry home a DVD. The Man had done his dad proud.
Bluerays were a hit (despite the fact that they cost more than DVDs and that there was less information on the cover- due to a decrease in cover size.) At first Bluerays received a small area of shelving at the front of all video stores, but after a short while they overtook the majority of the store and became the dominating form of home film watching. Videos were completely exterminated, they no longer had any place in our world. DVDs were moved to the back walls and bottom shelves, they couldn’t beat the crispy clearness of the Blueray disks.
People sold their DVD players and willingly replaced them with Blueray players. DVDs didn’t even get a Court of Justice.
The Man was ecstatic, he done his father proud. He was so ecstatic, that he did of over-enthusiasm. Doctors started to wonder if death by over-enthusiasm was genetic, but they let it pass. Unfortunately The Man didn’t have a son... but he did have a nephew (let’s call him The Man.)
The Man couldn’t care less about his uncle’s passing. But he did care about the money he would make from designing a better way to watch movies. The Man demolished all video stores (and while he was at it, he got rid of CD stores as well.) The poor DVDs were sold off to manufacturing companies to be recycled into goods.
At this time in history the internet was widely used, almost everyone had access to a computer. The Man opened a new video store, it was to be the only video store in the world, and it existed merely in cyberspace. “My uncles father complained of having to carry bulky things home from the video store!? Well now no one will ever have to go to the video store ever again! Muhahahahaha” off course The Man wasn’t a bad guy, but he did enjoy an evil laugh ever now and again to celebrate his accomplishments.
People of the world loved The Mans idea. They loved it so much that they demolished all stores. Not just video and technology related stores but clothes shops, restaurants, bookstores, chocolate cafes, doorknob stores and every other kind of shop that excited. It became possible to download and order EVERYTHING off the internet.
The Man was so greatly admired and idolised by the people that he became The King. Earlier I said that The King was not evil.... things change. The king became so wrapped up in power and success that he went insane. In his sleep he would hear the voice of his uncle’s father saying “we must progress” (which was rather odd because he never met his uncle’s father.)
So The King progressed. It wasn’t enough that the whole world survived through the internet, The King wanted to be even greater so he invented a 3D home film viewing experience. At first it was lame and people became fed up with the dodgy 3D glasses and their unrealisticness (which at this point in time was a real word.) So The King invented 3D film like no one could have ever anticipated. It was so life like that the people became confused between reality and film viewing. They couldn’t tell when they were asleep and when they were awake. When 4D film watching came into play, people couldn’t tell when they’d cut themselves cooking or when they were merely watching a film that involved butcher knives. The King had progressed too far.
Technology had taken over.
Weekly Helpful Hint: When someone asks you why you don’t like Bluerays say: “because there’s no need for one when we’ve already got a DVD player” and avoid telling them a 991 word story about technology domination.
Monday, December 15, 2008
The Calendar
Ash gestured for Lilette to follow him away from the kitchen and into the bedroom. Epicorm wiped the tears from his checks and cheerfully waved goodbye to Lilette, she waved back feeling unexplainably pleasant - perhaps it was because other people tended not to show a great deal of interest in her.
“Bye Lilette!” called Epicorm, like she were a great distance away “do you want to play Snakes and Ladders with me when you come back?” he added with eager hopefulness.
“Sure” she promised, despite not knowing what Snakes and Ladders was.
“And then will you have lunch with us?” he asked as if he’d just thought of the idea.
“Epic” interjected Ash “stop bugging her, she has a lot on her mind right now” Epicorm’s smile faded away, and he looked like he might cry again.
“Oh, but I would love to have lunch with him!” Lilette said honestly, trying to stop Epicorm from another fit of tears.
“Really!?” Epicorm cheered, clapping his hands together. Lilette giggled, she liked how easily she could make him happy.
“Alright” Ash concluded with a smile, placing a hand on Lilette’s shoulder. He directed her through the door and into the bedroom.
Lilette was rather unconvinced that whatever it was Ash wanted to show her – a calendar or something of the sort- was going to affect Lilette in a greater way than finding out her family were being held hostage. It then occurred to Lilette that her family were at the mercy of a gang of rats, and she was at Ash’s house doing nothing to help then.
“We keep the calendar in Dad’s trunk” Ash told Lilette, as he closed the door behind him, and knelt down besides the box labelled The Wise Dreamer. “I know I’ve kept you in the dark until now, and I know you must be worried sick about your family. But you really do need to see the calendar, Dad says you don’t, but I think it’s your right.... look, I’m really sorry about everything that’s going on, and I promise to do whatever I can to get those filthy Rats out of your home. But first, you need to see the calendar” Ash pulled a golden, pine-cone-shaped key from his pocket and unlocked the big brown box before him.
He rummaged around the unorganised clutter of things, Lilette tried not to be snoopy and restrained from leaning forward and looking into the box. “It’s in here somewhere” Ash reassured her.
After a brief while of rummaging, he pulled out an average sized calendar. To Lilette surprise the calendar was not made of leaves, and the writing on it wasn’t engravings.
“The writing” Lilette wondered “how does it stay on the page?”
“It’s called ink. The people of the Overworld use it instead of carving letters into the paper”
“Paper?”
Ash briefly taught Lilette about ink and paper, and told her about the giants who live in the Overworld, whom Lilette had never heard of before.
“I know I’ve just given you a whole new world of things to think about” Ash apologised “but none of that matters right now. Here, take a look” he handed her the paper made calendar. Lilette gazed in fascination at the front page- which said nothing but ‘The Calendar’- and tried running her fingers over the ‘ink’ but to her amazement it stayed on the page. What strange magic these creatures of the Overworld used. The style of writing was very neat, the letters never changed in shape or size. Both Es looked completely identical to each other, as did the As. How did they write with such accuracy? As intrigued by their writing as Lilette was, she much preferred the wavy, elegant font of her own kind.
She looked up at Ash, to make sure it was ok to open it and he nodded. Her heart started to flutter, she wasn’t sure if opening the calendar was really something she wanted to do.
“Why don’t you sit down” Ash suggested, which only increased Lilette’s fears. People are usually asked to sit down, before they’re told bad news, to reduce the chance of them injuring themselves from shock. She wished he had said ‘don’t worry, everything will be fine, just open the calendar’ but he hadn’t, he had asked her to sit down. He would be reading her nervous emotions at this very moment, and yet he wasn’t calming her down by telling her that everything was alright. Everything wasn’t alright, Lilette concluded. She sat down next to Ash, who had gone to sit on his bed.
Lilette grasped the calendar with two hands. She could have sat on Ash’s bed for several years in preparation for opening the calendar. Ash placed a comforting hand on Lilette’s shoulder, she took in a deep breath of courage and lifted over the front page.
It was just a calendar.
The word ‘January’ was imprinted on the top of the page, as would be expected on one of Lilette’s usual leaf calendars, and every day of the month had its own little box (which wasn’t at all unusual either.) Some of the boxes were written in, saying innocently normal things like ‘Epicorm’s Birthday’ and ‘Raspberry Picking Day.’ The calendar was no more special than the one Lilette owned at her own home, despite the strange material it was made of and the ‘ink.’
Lilette looked at Ash- who had taken his hand away when she opened the calendar. He opened his mouth to speak, but Lilette spoke first “It’s just a calendar.”
“No, Lilette, it’s not just a calendar” he sounded worried that the truth may hurt Lilette “see here” he flicked a few pages over “on November 29th?” he pointed it out to Lilette, all it said was: ‘Gibberllin and Poppy wedding.’
Lilette found nothing strange about Ash’s brothers wedding day being noted on the calendar. With only three weeks left until that day would come, Lilette thought it annoyingly normal for it to be on the calendar.
“So?” Lilette asked, trying to understand what Ash what getting at.
“So, Gibs and Poppy have been dating since April. They’re very happy together, but Gibs has no intention of asking her to marry him”
“Then why are they getting married in three weeks?”
“They’re not. It’s just what the calendar says. Or rather, what the calendar foretells”
“The calendar predicts the future!?” Lilette rejoiced, glad to finally understand what was going on “so Gibberllin and Poppy are getting married in three weeks?”
“I don’t know. Gibs hasn’t spoken about it. From time to time the calendar mis-predicts our future. If they are getting married, neither of them know about it yet... Gibs hasn’t checked the calendar in a while” the novelty of knowing about a couple’s wedding before they did made Lilette giggle a little.
“Even though the calendar sometimes makes mistakes, and sometimes we (as readers of the calendar) can consciously alter its predictions.... the calendar is almost always accurate” Ash was beginning to talk seriously now, and Lilette remembered that it had been for a negative reason that he was showing her the calendar.
“Why are you showing me this?” Lilette wondered worriedly, looking deeply into Ash’s eyes as if she might be able to find the answer if she looked hard enough. He sighed sorrowfully, this was obviously the moment he had been guiding Lilette to, but also the moment he had been dreading.
“December 13th” he said simply.
Lilette turned to December. Written in the box of the 13th, in unnaturally perfect writing, were the words ‘Death of Mielou.’
“Bye Lilette!” called Epicorm, like she were a great distance away “do you want to play Snakes and Ladders with me when you come back?” he added with eager hopefulness.
“Sure” she promised, despite not knowing what Snakes and Ladders was.
“And then will you have lunch with us?” he asked as if he’d just thought of the idea.
“Epic” interjected Ash “stop bugging her, she has a lot on her mind right now” Epicorm’s smile faded away, and he looked like he might cry again.
“Oh, but I would love to have lunch with him!” Lilette said honestly, trying to stop Epicorm from another fit of tears.
“Really!?” Epicorm cheered, clapping his hands together. Lilette giggled, she liked how easily she could make him happy.
“Alright” Ash concluded with a smile, placing a hand on Lilette’s shoulder. He directed her through the door and into the bedroom.
Lilette was rather unconvinced that whatever it was Ash wanted to show her – a calendar or something of the sort- was going to affect Lilette in a greater way than finding out her family were being held hostage. It then occurred to Lilette that her family were at the mercy of a gang of rats, and she was at Ash’s house doing nothing to help then.
“We keep the calendar in Dad’s trunk” Ash told Lilette, as he closed the door behind him, and knelt down besides the box labelled The Wise Dreamer. “I know I’ve kept you in the dark until now, and I know you must be worried sick about your family. But you really do need to see the calendar, Dad says you don’t, but I think it’s your right.... look, I’m really sorry about everything that’s going on, and I promise to do whatever I can to get those filthy Rats out of your home. But first, you need to see the calendar” Ash pulled a golden, pine-cone-shaped key from his pocket and unlocked the big brown box before him.
He rummaged around the unorganised clutter of things, Lilette tried not to be snoopy and restrained from leaning forward and looking into the box. “It’s in here somewhere” Ash reassured her.
After a brief while of rummaging, he pulled out an average sized calendar. To Lilette surprise the calendar was not made of leaves, and the writing on it wasn’t engravings.
“The writing” Lilette wondered “how does it stay on the page?”
“It’s called ink. The people of the Overworld use it instead of carving letters into the paper”
“Paper?”
Ash briefly taught Lilette about ink and paper, and told her about the giants who live in the Overworld, whom Lilette had never heard of before.
“I know I’ve just given you a whole new world of things to think about” Ash apologised “but none of that matters right now. Here, take a look” he handed her the paper made calendar. Lilette gazed in fascination at the front page- which said nothing but ‘The Calendar’- and tried running her fingers over the ‘ink’ but to her amazement it stayed on the page. What strange magic these creatures of the Overworld used. The style of writing was very neat, the letters never changed in shape or size. Both Es looked completely identical to each other, as did the As. How did they write with such accuracy? As intrigued by their writing as Lilette was, she much preferred the wavy, elegant font of her own kind.
She looked up at Ash, to make sure it was ok to open it and he nodded. Her heart started to flutter, she wasn’t sure if opening the calendar was really something she wanted to do.
“Why don’t you sit down” Ash suggested, which only increased Lilette’s fears. People are usually asked to sit down, before they’re told bad news, to reduce the chance of them injuring themselves from shock. She wished he had said ‘don’t worry, everything will be fine, just open the calendar’ but he hadn’t, he had asked her to sit down. He would be reading her nervous emotions at this very moment, and yet he wasn’t calming her down by telling her that everything was alright. Everything wasn’t alright, Lilette concluded. She sat down next to Ash, who had gone to sit on his bed.
Lilette grasped the calendar with two hands. She could have sat on Ash’s bed for several years in preparation for opening the calendar. Ash placed a comforting hand on Lilette’s shoulder, she took in a deep breath of courage and lifted over the front page.
It was just a calendar.
The word ‘January’ was imprinted on the top of the page, as would be expected on one of Lilette’s usual leaf calendars, and every day of the month had its own little box (which wasn’t at all unusual either.) Some of the boxes were written in, saying innocently normal things like ‘Epicorm’s Birthday’ and ‘Raspberry Picking Day.’ The calendar was no more special than the one Lilette owned at her own home, despite the strange material it was made of and the ‘ink.’
Lilette looked at Ash- who had taken his hand away when she opened the calendar. He opened his mouth to speak, but Lilette spoke first “It’s just a calendar.”
“No, Lilette, it’s not just a calendar” he sounded worried that the truth may hurt Lilette “see here” he flicked a few pages over “on November 29th?” he pointed it out to Lilette, all it said was: ‘Gibberllin and Poppy wedding.’
Lilette found nothing strange about Ash’s brothers wedding day being noted on the calendar. With only three weeks left until that day would come, Lilette thought it annoyingly normal for it to be on the calendar.
“So?” Lilette asked, trying to understand what Ash what getting at.
“So, Gibs and Poppy have been dating since April. They’re very happy together, but Gibs has no intention of asking her to marry him”
“Then why are they getting married in three weeks?”
“They’re not. It’s just what the calendar says. Or rather, what the calendar foretells”
“The calendar predicts the future!?” Lilette rejoiced, glad to finally understand what was going on “so Gibberllin and Poppy are getting married in three weeks?”
“I don’t know. Gibs hasn’t spoken about it. From time to time the calendar mis-predicts our future. If they are getting married, neither of them know about it yet... Gibs hasn’t checked the calendar in a while” the novelty of knowing about a couple’s wedding before they did made Lilette giggle a little.
“Even though the calendar sometimes makes mistakes, and sometimes we (as readers of the calendar) can consciously alter its predictions.... the calendar is almost always accurate” Ash was beginning to talk seriously now, and Lilette remembered that it had been for a negative reason that he was showing her the calendar.
“Why are you showing me this?” Lilette wondered worriedly, looking deeply into Ash’s eyes as if she might be able to find the answer if she looked hard enough. He sighed sorrowfully, this was obviously the moment he had been guiding Lilette to, but also the moment he had been dreading.
“December 13th” he said simply.
Lilette turned to December. Written in the box of the 13th, in unnaturally perfect writing, were the words ‘Death of Mielou.’
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Joseph and the Conception of Jesus
Joseph was busy repairing a wooden chair. It took fine precision and caution to reattach the broken leg, but Joseph knew exactly what to do and had accomplished many tasks similar to this one. The sun beat down heavily on Joseph and his hands were beginning to sweat, making the delicate task before him even harder to complete.
After many hours of labouring away, Joseph looked up to find a figure walking towards him in the distance. He dropped the piece of wood he was holding, dusted off his hands and gazed out into the dark, waiting curiously to find out who was coming towards him.
He soon recognised that it was Mary, his soon-to-be-wife. Who else would come looking for him after night fall? “Joseph?” she called, and he answered back to reassure her that it was indeed him she was approaching in the dark, and not some strange man she didn’t know of. When Mary reached him they hugged briefly, he was delighted to see her beautiful face after a hard days work and wanted nothing more than to hold her.
“I have some wonderful news” Mary sang delightfully, once their embrace was over. Joseph looked at her eagerly, what a perfect wife she would make, and she brought with her good news!
“I’m pregnant!” she gasped happily, her face brighter than ever before. Joseph’s eyes widened in shock, he felt around in the dark for one of the chairs he had repaired earlier and sat himself down. The chair collapsed beneath him and he fell abruptly to the ground. He let out an angry howl and threw a piece of the chair out of his way. Mary offered him her hand, but he refused it and stood up by himself.
“Curse these wooden chairs!” Joseph yelled, furiously kicking the pile of timber. “It took me hours to fix that chair!” He tried to avoid looking at Mary, and he tried to avoid the upcoming conversation. He loved Mary dearly and didn’t want to imagine her sleeping with someone other than himself. They stood in silence, Joseph breathed heavily trying to control his rage. Once Joseph had restored himself to a slightly calmer state (one which would not see him harming Mary) he lifted his head and looked into her confused eyes.
“Joseph-”
“What’s his name?” Joseph asked, not really caring what her answer would be.
“Joseph... It’s not like that... you see-”
“I could have the whole town stone you to death! I should cancel our marriage now, I don’t need to hear your excuses... The last time I checked you were a virgin, Mary... Why would you do this too me?... I thought you loved me.” Joseph’s anger turned into sadness, his eyes filled with tears and he forced himself to look away from Mary.
“Joseph. I do love you” Mary sobbed. Joseph tried with all his might not to look up at her, but her voice was so full of sorrow that he gave into himself. Despite how badly she had betrayed him, Joseph couldn’t bare to turn his back on Mary when she sounded so upset.
“I love you too” he whispered with as little passion as possible, he wanted to make her happy and withhold his dignity, but he knew that to achieve both was near impossible.
“Please listen to me, Joseph” Mary begged, when Joseph gave no response she went on “An angel came down from heaven. It told me that I am to carry the son of God” she then added with pride “I am to call him Jesus” Joseph was appalled. Not only had his future wife slept with another man, she now stood before him blaming her present situation on God. God: the creator of all living things. She would surely be sent to hell for such a lie, how could she dare bring God into her excuses? Joseph felt his dignity blow away from him, how could he maintain his self respect when Mary so openly lied before him?
“An angel came down from heaven.... and said that you would give birth to the son of God?” Joseph recapped sarcastically, Mary nodded with timid innocence “you honestly think that I would fall for that?” Joseph temper was rising again.
“I know it sounds impossible, but-”
“Mary. How can you claim to be pregnant and a virgin? You can’t be a virgin! Why does every one call you the Virgin Mary!?”
“Actually, Joseph. They don’t call me that yet. People call me the Virgin Mary later on, when our story becomes a legend and people celebrate the birth of Jesus by receiving presents from a man who dresses in red and white and travels from house to house by reindeer” Mary reminded Joseph.
“Oh, right. Offcourse. How stupid of me” Joseph apologised “But, still. How can you be pregnant and at the same time, be a virgin?”
“The angel said that it is by the magic of God that I will be a pregnant virgin” Mary informed Joseph.
“I don’t believe any of this!” Joseph yelled rather suddenly, making Mary jump. Joseph picked up his long wooden stick- which he always carried with him, even though it was evident he could walk without it- and turned away from Mary. Despite his efforts to make a dignified exit, he stood on a splinter of wood, which went straight through his thin shoes and pierced his skin.
“Jesus Christ!” He cried, combining the pain of the splinter with the anger he felt towards his lying fiancé and her unborn baby. Joseph was certain of only one thing, the baby wasn’t his, and this pained him more than the splinter still lodged in his foot.
Thus concludes the story of why we use Jesus’ name in vein sometimes.
After many hours of labouring away, Joseph looked up to find a figure walking towards him in the distance. He dropped the piece of wood he was holding, dusted off his hands and gazed out into the dark, waiting curiously to find out who was coming towards him.
He soon recognised that it was Mary, his soon-to-be-wife. Who else would come looking for him after night fall? “Joseph?” she called, and he answered back to reassure her that it was indeed him she was approaching in the dark, and not some strange man she didn’t know of. When Mary reached him they hugged briefly, he was delighted to see her beautiful face after a hard days work and wanted nothing more than to hold her.
“I have some wonderful news” Mary sang delightfully, once their embrace was over. Joseph looked at her eagerly, what a perfect wife she would make, and she brought with her good news!
“I’m pregnant!” she gasped happily, her face brighter than ever before. Joseph’s eyes widened in shock, he felt around in the dark for one of the chairs he had repaired earlier and sat himself down. The chair collapsed beneath him and he fell abruptly to the ground. He let out an angry howl and threw a piece of the chair out of his way. Mary offered him her hand, but he refused it and stood up by himself.
“Curse these wooden chairs!” Joseph yelled, furiously kicking the pile of timber. “It took me hours to fix that chair!” He tried to avoid looking at Mary, and he tried to avoid the upcoming conversation. He loved Mary dearly and didn’t want to imagine her sleeping with someone other than himself. They stood in silence, Joseph breathed heavily trying to control his rage. Once Joseph had restored himself to a slightly calmer state (one which would not see him harming Mary) he lifted his head and looked into her confused eyes.
“Joseph-”
“What’s his name?” Joseph asked, not really caring what her answer would be.
“Joseph... It’s not like that... you see-”
“I could have the whole town stone you to death! I should cancel our marriage now, I don’t need to hear your excuses... The last time I checked you were a virgin, Mary... Why would you do this too me?... I thought you loved me.” Joseph’s anger turned into sadness, his eyes filled with tears and he forced himself to look away from Mary.
“Joseph. I do love you” Mary sobbed. Joseph tried with all his might not to look up at her, but her voice was so full of sorrow that he gave into himself. Despite how badly she had betrayed him, Joseph couldn’t bare to turn his back on Mary when she sounded so upset.
“I love you too” he whispered with as little passion as possible, he wanted to make her happy and withhold his dignity, but he knew that to achieve both was near impossible.
“Please listen to me, Joseph” Mary begged, when Joseph gave no response she went on “An angel came down from heaven. It told me that I am to carry the son of God” she then added with pride “I am to call him Jesus” Joseph was appalled. Not only had his future wife slept with another man, she now stood before him blaming her present situation on God. God: the creator of all living things. She would surely be sent to hell for such a lie, how could she dare bring God into her excuses? Joseph felt his dignity blow away from him, how could he maintain his self respect when Mary so openly lied before him?
“An angel came down from heaven.... and said that you would give birth to the son of God?” Joseph recapped sarcastically, Mary nodded with timid innocence “you honestly think that I would fall for that?” Joseph temper was rising again.
“I know it sounds impossible, but-”
“Mary. How can you claim to be pregnant and a virgin? You can’t be a virgin! Why does every one call you the Virgin Mary!?”
“Actually, Joseph. They don’t call me that yet. People call me the Virgin Mary later on, when our story becomes a legend and people celebrate the birth of Jesus by receiving presents from a man who dresses in red and white and travels from house to house by reindeer” Mary reminded Joseph.
“Oh, right. Offcourse. How stupid of me” Joseph apologised “But, still. How can you be pregnant and at the same time, be a virgin?”
“The angel said that it is by the magic of God that I will be a pregnant virgin” Mary informed Joseph.
“I don’t believe any of this!” Joseph yelled rather suddenly, making Mary jump. Joseph picked up his long wooden stick- which he always carried with him, even though it was evident he could walk without it- and turned away from Mary. Despite his efforts to make a dignified exit, he stood on a splinter of wood, which went straight through his thin shoes and pierced his skin.
“Jesus Christ!” He cried, combining the pain of the splinter with the anger he felt towards his lying fiancé and her unborn baby. Joseph was certain of only one thing, the baby wasn’t his, and this pained him more than the splinter still lodged in his foot.
Thus concludes the story of why we use Jesus’ name in vein sometimes.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The Race
I was looking through my old primary school workbooks, and I stumbled across this poem I wrote. Seeing as I haven’t posted anything in what - three days? I thought I’d share it with you. I could have edited it and made it rhyme better, but I decided to leave it just the way it was when I was little.
It’s called The Race:
The leopard runs faster than the fox
The rabbit pauses and on the wood he knocks
To wake up the sleeping skunk who lays there
Trust kind rabbit, no one else would ever care
Leopard sprints, he’ll win this race for sure
But fox is so clever he takes the hidden floor
Swiftly and invisibly he moves secretly
Left then right then up the old brown tree
Rabbit carries the skunk they try hard to win
She knows how important this race is for him
He wakes up and dashes off without a care
He only wants the reward, he would never share
Rabbit stops and she begins to cry
Mean skunk, she doesn’t get why
He left her so very quickly after all that she’d done
If he hadn’t then together they both could have won
Leopard doesn’t tier and he won’t till the end
The prize will fulfil him his heart it will mend
He has his own little story like all living things do
But he’ll tell no one, not even once the race is through
He could never run fast enough to out speed his past
The pretty leopard lady is a memory gone in a blast
The witty fox is getting close he’s almost in the lead
He’s clever and fearless, he doesn’t rely on speed
The fox he wants the prize to share with his family
They are going through some rough times you see
He doesn’t even think the others lives may be in tatters
When you go through hard times no one else ever matters
Rabbit only joined the race for a bit of fun
She deserves to win more than anyone
But this is no fairy tale race, she hasn’t much chance
Why can’t the world be filled with peace and romance?
There was never much hope for skunk
Off to sleep he goes in another tree trunk
He used to be happy, have friends and a heart
Until he became selfish, then it all fell apart
Rabbit makes haste she’ll try her best
She see’s skunk, having a bit of a rest
Skunk wakes up and she says hello
He gets cross and tells her to go
She apologises so genuinely to him
Skunk isn’t the smartest he’s rather dim
He shoos her away and she starts to cry
He looks up at her sorrily and asks her why
She tells him her dreams of peace
Skunk sobs like a sudden release
Of all his emotions bottled up inside
Friends they will be, skunk does decide
Together Rabbit and Skunk run to the finish
But the prize is not reachable, a far away wish
They have won a better prize than the animal that comes first will
They have won each others friendship, but to the finish they run still
So fox and leopard are both way ahead
They both won’t the prize, as I have said
Fox can see leopard and leopard will never know
Fox can see leopards heart even when it doesn’t show
Fox is so smart and can see all sorts of things
He would have won this race if he had wings
But he stays down low and hides himself
Like the rotting cookie behind your shelf
Leopard runs free in the open, fox can see his pain
But fox see’s all, the prize is still left for him to gain
So neck to neck they run to the finish… leopard comes first
Leopard casually takes the prize, as fox almost dies of thirst
Leopard is his same old self, the prize didn’t help him much
Skunk and rabbit have won a prize you can’t actually touch
Fox will head back home to his loving family, he didn’t win the prize
But he realised he’s better off than leopard, which was a nice surprise
It’s called The Race:
The leopard runs faster than the fox
The rabbit pauses and on the wood he knocks
To wake up the sleeping skunk who lays there
Trust kind rabbit, no one else would ever care
Leopard sprints, he’ll win this race for sure
But fox is so clever he takes the hidden floor
Swiftly and invisibly he moves secretly
Left then right then up the old brown tree
Rabbit carries the skunk they try hard to win
She knows how important this race is for him
He wakes up and dashes off without a care
He only wants the reward, he would never share
Rabbit stops and she begins to cry
Mean skunk, she doesn’t get why
He left her so very quickly after all that she’d done
If he hadn’t then together they both could have won
Leopard doesn’t tier and he won’t till the end
The prize will fulfil him his heart it will mend
He has his own little story like all living things do
But he’ll tell no one, not even once the race is through
He could never run fast enough to out speed his past
The pretty leopard lady is a memory gone in a blast
The witty fox is getting close he’s almost in the lead
He’s clever and fearless, he doesn’t rely on speed
The fox he wants the prize to share with his family
They are going through some rough times you see
He doesn’t even think the others lives may be in tatters
When you go through hard times no one else ever matters
Rabbit only joined the race for a bit of fun
She deserves to win more than anyone
But this is no fairy tale race, she hasn’t much chance
Why can’t the world be filled with peace and romance?
There was never much hope for skunk
Off to sleep he goes in another tree trunk
He used to be happy, have friends and a heart
Until he became selfish, then it all fell apart
Rabbit makes haste she’ll try her best
She see’s skunk, having a bit of a rest
Skunk wakes up and she says hello
He gets cross and tells her to go
She apologises so genuinely to him
Skunk isn’t the smartest he’s rather dim
He shoos her away and she starts to cry
He looks up at her sorrily and asks her why
She tells him her dreams of peace
Skunk sobs like a sudden release
Of all his emotions bottled up inside
Friends they will be, skunk does decide
Together Rabbit and Skunk run to the finish
But the prize is not reachable, a far away wish
They have won a better prize than the animal that comes first will
They have won each others friendship, but to the finish they run still
So fox and leopard are both way ahead
They both won’t the prize, as I have said
Fox can see leopard and leopard will never know
Fox can see leopards heart even when it doesn’t show
Fox is so smart and can see all sorts of things
He would have won this race if he had wings
But he stays down low and hides himself
Like the rotting cookie behind your shelf
Leopard runs free in the open, fox can see his pain
But fox see’s all, the prize is still left for him to gain
So neck to neck they run to the finish… leopard comes first
Leopard casually takes the prize, as fox almost dies of thirst
Leopard is his same old self, the prize didn’t help him much
Skunk and rabbit have won a prize you can’t actually touch
Fox will head back home to his loving family, he didn’t win the prize
But he realised he’s better off than leopard, which was a nice surprise
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Back to the Humans
If you’ve been reading The End of Time then you would know that occasionally it cuts from the world of fairies and we delve into the lives of Luke and his family. Luke and Annie missed the train, so they are now walking across a field of daisies so Annie can make it school. Annie loves fairies like many little girls do, but Luke finds it nonsensical for her to talk about a world of make believe all the time.
Luke trudged across the daisy field, determinedly not responding his sister’s calls or looking back at her.
“Luke! Luke, wait!” there was a moment of silence, Luke heard her steps turn into a run “I can’t catch up!” Annie called and began to cry again, her steps stopped, she had apparently given up. Luke stopped walking and turned around. As much as she annoyed him, Luke cared for his sister.
“I’ll slow down, if you promise not to talk about fairies.... or magic... or any other nonsense that won’t do either of us any good” he remained standing still until Annie had caught up.
“Thank you” she said softly and took his hand in hers, Luke smiled to himself.
For lack of magical things to talk about, Annie resorted to telling Luke all about school, her evil maths teacher and her friends. Luke was delighted that Annie was capable of talking about things other than fairies, and hung on her every word with fascinated interest. He was amazed that she lived a life aside from her dreamt up world of magic.
The time passed quickly, Annie did most of the talking, which usually would have aggravated Luke but he found himself content just listening to her, asking a question or two every so often.
They soon reached the end of the daisy field, Annie let go of Luke’s hand to scratch her noise, and Luke shoved his hands back into his pockets, he was glad to be free of the burden holding her hand had become. Luke was familiar with Chestnut Road - the street at the end of the daisy field - he had been here several times.
It was dark and depressing and the large uneven cobble stones stuck up in places, making the ground unpleasant to walk on. At the end of the short gloomy street was Annie’s school, an old dingy brown building, barely big enough to comfortably school a hundred children, and yet it schooled two hundred.
Annie, however, loved school. Luke never understood her for this, he had dropped out as soon as legally possible. He imagined she would want to stay at school until the end of year twelve, but he knew she would have to drop out early, like him, to earn money.
“How late will I be?” Annie asked worried, as they staggered over the cobble stones towards the dull brown building.
“Very” Luke said plainly, deciding the simple truth was best. They didn’t hasten their pace though, and continued walking at a steady speed, being careful not to trip on the bumpy ground.
After a few paces they passed a rather, out of place, looking house. All the other houses and shops on the street were clearly visible from the road, and Luke could see into all of their windows. But this one was not like the others.
He couldn’t even see beyond the tall, black metal gates, that were covered in weeds and other unattractive and prickly looking plants. Luke stopped at the gates, trying to see up the driveway to the house. Although he couldn’t see it, he felt unusually tense, and he realised that he was afraid of the house.
He was afraid, because it was unknown.
For a second he drifted off, and began imaging haunted mansions like the ones you see at the end of happy, sunny streets in films.... streets were all the houses have freshly mown green lawns and white picket fences.
But he quickly wiped the thought from his mind, no good would come of filling his thoughts with stories. It was at this point that Luke noticed Annie’s unexplained sudden absence, he looked left and right down the street. And then, just before he was about to call her name, he saw her walking up the driveway of the secretively creepy house.
The gate was ajar, leaving just enough room for Luke to squeeze through without having to move the gate. He feared it would make a loud squeaking noise if he pushed it, as the rusting hinges suggested.
He ran up the drive way and grabbed Annie from behind, by the shoulder. She whizzed around, just a little too fast, and Luke let out a girlish squeal. He had half expected to see his sister transformed into some kind of monster, but she was more herself than ever before.
She began to giggle at the sound of her brother’s squeal. Luke heard the sudden sound of a wooden fly wire door slamming open, he whizzed around to look at the house, which was several metres away from them. Standing on the veranda was an old man. Luke gasped, less girl like this time, and took a step backwards.
The old man yelled something inaudible and pulled out a long gun. Without further notice, and before Luke could do or say anything, the old man shot Annie several times in the chest and belly, she fell heavily to the floor. Circles of blood began to show through her navy blazer, Luke fell to his knees beside her.
He had no idea what to do.
First he touched one of the wounds...but thought better of it. Touched her cheek... found no point to it. Tried to take off her blazer... but didn’t want to move her too much. Then finally he took off his own jacket and put it over her bloody body, wondering if putting pressure on bullet wounds was the way to go.
He frantically did the best he could, wishing very much that he could save her. But blood was flowing from her torso at an uncontrollable rate. He felt a sick combination of horror and nausea, as he watched more and more blood flow from his sister.
Luke looked angrily up at the veranda. The old man was now crotched over, standing only with the support of a cane “are you alright laddy?” the man called to Luke, as if nothing had happened.
Luke looked hastily back to Annie, she was no longer on the ground, but standing upright next to him. Luke stood up to feel her chest and belly, but there was nothing there.
“Get off!” she yelled “what are you doing?” she kicked his shin and Luke instinctively bent down to hold the pain.
He remembered his jacket, and how he had used it to put pressure on Annie’s wounds, but he found himself wearing the beige, corduroy jacket once again. He threw it off himself in one swift movement, examining it with terror- lying completely bloodless on the ground.
“Why don’t you children come in for a cup of tea, eh?” the old man asked sweetly... a little too sweetly, thought Luke “I have cookies” the man added, heading back into his house.
“Stop messing with me!” Luke yelled at the man “what’s going on!? What are you playing at!?” the old man looked over to Luke and said, as if he knew exactly what was going on
“I don’t know what you’re on about lad” and then added, with inarguable seriousness “come in and have a cookie, boy.”
Annie and Luke headed slowly towards the house, Luke was shaking intensely and wasn’t sure why his curiosity was overpowering his logic and sense at this point.
As they got closer to the veranda, Luke noticed the frizzy white haired man had one brown eye and one electric purple eye. Luke stared with fierce fascination.
Luke trudged across the daisy field, determinedly not responding his sister’s calls or looking back at her.
“Luke! Luke, wait!” there was a moment of silence, Luke heard her steps turn into a run “I can’t catch up!” Annie called and began to cry again, her steps stopped, she had apparently given up. Luke stopped walking and turned around. As much as she annoyed him, Luke cared for his sister.
“I’ll slow down, if you promise not to talk about fairies.... or magic... or any other nonsense that won’t do either of us any good” he remained standing still until Annie had caught up.
“Thank you” she said softly and took his hand in hers, Luke smiled to himself.
For lack of magical things to talk about, Annie resorted to telling Luke all about school, her evil maths teacher and her friends. Luke was delighted that Annie was capable of talking about things other than fairies, and hung on her every word with fascinated interest. He was amazed that she lived a life aside from her dreamt up world of magic.
The time passed quickly, Annie did most of the talking, which usually would have aggravated Luke but he found himself content just listening to her, asking a question or two every so often.
They soon reached the end of the daisy field, Annie let go of Luke’s hand to scratch her noise, and Luke shoved his hands back into his pockets, he was glad to be free of the burden holding her hand had become. Luke was familiar with Chestnut Road - the street at the end of the daisy field - he had been here several times.
It was dark and depressing and the large uneven cobble stones stuck up in places, making the ground unpleasant to walk on. At the end of the short gloomy street was Annie’s school, an old dingy brown building, barely big enough to comfortably school a hundred children, and yet it schooled two hundred.
Annie, however, loved school. Luke never understood her for this, he had dropped out as soon as legally possible. He imagined she would want to stay at school until the end of year twelve, but he knew she would have to drop out early, like him, to earn money.
“How late will I be?” Annie asked worried, as they staggered over the cobble stones towards the dull brown building.
“Very” Luke said plainly, deciding the simple truth was best. They didn’t hasten their pace though, and continued walking at a steady speed, being careful not to trip on the bumpy ground.
After a few paces they passed a rather, out of place, looking house. All the other houses and shops on the street were clearly visible from the road, and Luke could see into all of their windows. But this one was not like the others.
He couldn’t even see beyond the tall, black metal gates, that were covered in weeds and other unattractive and prickly looking plants. Luke stopped at the gates, trying to see up the driveway to the house. Although he couldn’t see it, he felt unusually tense, and he realised that he was afraid of the house.
He was afraid, because it was unknown.
For a second he drifted off, and began imaging haunted mansions like the ones you see at the end of happy, sunny streets in films.... streets were all the houses have freshly mown green lawns and white picket fences.
But he quickly wiped the thought from his mind, no good would come of filling his thoughts with stories. It was at this point that Luke noticed Annie’s unexplained sudden absence, he looked left and right down the street. And then, just before he was about to call her name, he saw her walking up the driveway of the secretively creepy house.
The gate was ajar, leaving just enough room for Luke to squeeze through without having to move the gate. He feared it would make a loud squeaking noise if he pushed it, as the rusting hinges suggested.
He ran up the drive way and grabbed Annie from behind, by the shoulder. She whizzed around, just a little too fast, and Luke let out a girlish squeal. He had half expected to see his sister transformed into some kind of monster, but she was more herself than ever before.
She began to giggle at the sound of her brother’s squeal. Luke heard the sudden sound of a wooden fly wire door slamming open, he whizzed around to look at the house, which was several metres away from them. Standing on the veranda was an old man. Luke gasped, less girl like this time, and took a step backwards.
The old man yelled something inaudible and pulled out a long gun. Without further notice, and before Luke could do or say anything, the old man shot Annie several times in the chest and belly, she fell heavily to the floor. Circles of blood began to show through her navy blazer, Luke fell to his knees beside her.
He had no idea what to do.
First he touched one of the wounds...but thought better of it. Touched her cheek... found no point to it. Tried to take off her blazer... but didn’t want to move her too much. Then finally he took off his own jacket and put it over her bloody body, wondering if putting pressure on bullet wounds was the way to go.
He frantically did the best he could, wishing very much that he could save her. But blood was flowing from her torso at an uncontrollable rate. He felt a sick combination of horror and nausea, as he watched more and more blood flow from his sister.
Luke looked angrily up at the veranda. The old man was now crotched over, standing only with the support of a cane “are you alright laddy?” the man called to Luke, as if nothing had happened.
Luke looked hastily back to Annie, she was no longer on the ground, but standing upright next to him. Luke stood up to feel her chest and belly, but there was nothing there.
“Get off!” she yelled “what are you doing?” she kicked his shin and Luke instinctively bent down to hold the pain.
He remembered his jacket, and how he had used it to put pressure on Annie’s wounds, but he found himself wearing the beige, corduroy jacket once again. He threw it off himself in one swift movement, examining it with terror- lying completely bloodless on the ground.
“Why don’t you children come in for a cup of tea, eh?” the old man asked sweetly... a little too sweetly, thought Luke “I have cookies” the man added, heading back into his house.
“Stop messing with me!” Luke yelled at the man “what’s going on!? What are you playing at!?” the old man looked over to Luke and said, as if he knew exactly what was going on
“I don’t know what you’re on about lad” and then added, with inarguable seriousness “come in and have a cookie, boy.”
Annie and Luke headed slowly towards the house, Luke was shaking intensely and wasn’t sure why his curiosity was overpowering his logic and sense at this point.
As they got closer to the veranda, Luke noticed the frizzy white haired man had one brown eye and one electric purple eye. Luke stared with fierce fascination.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Dog
Several months ago, in the house diagonal to ours, our neighbours bought home a new puppy. Whenever the family went out at night, the dog would bark.... for hours on end. People in our neighbourhood told them about the noise their dog made when they left it alone, but they claimed there was nothing they could do about it.
And so, we lived our lives with the occasional sleepless night, praying that the dog would one day shut the fuck up.
The morning after a particularly noisy night- thanks to the dog- we woke to find that their house had been knocked down. Our neighbours and their dog had mysteriously disappeared out of our lives. I don’t know how we failed to hear the demolition process... but it certainly was less noisy than the barking dog.
I only tell you this story because the barking dog is back. It’s back, despite the fact that the house has been nothing more than a patch of grass for months now. Perhaps it’s a ghost dog, or belongs to another one of our neighbours. The later is more likely, but the idea of a ghost dog is more exciting. Not that something that exciting would ever happen around here.
Also, I watched Keeping Mum the other day because a friend of mine told me that she watched it on Halloween. She watched it in place of a horror movie, because she had seen it before and found it scary. I had heard that it was a comedy, so the other day I rented it to clear up whether or not it would make a good Halloween horror movie. Unless there’s just something wrong with my sense of humour, it was indeed a comedy. The big sticker on the front of the DVD cover that says COMEDY, also suggests that there’s a slight possibility of it being designed to make you laugh and not to horrify you.
Now, if you haven’t seen Keeping Mum then you won’t know what happens to their neighbour’s dog, who keeps them up with its barking, and making a connection between the film and my life will have made no sense at all.
I should warn you that I’m seeing High School Musical 3 this afternoon.... just in case I don’t survive and you never hear from me again.
And so, we lived our lives with the occasional sleepless night, praying that the dog would one day shut the fuck up.
The morning after a particularly noisy night- thanks to the dog- we woke to find that their house had been knocked down. Our neighbours and their dog had mysteriously disappeared out of our lives. I don’t know how we failed to hear the demolition process... but it certainly was less noisy than the barking dog.
I only tell you this story because the barking dog is back. It’s back, despite the fact that the house has been nothing more than a patch of grass for months now. Perhaps it’s a ghost dog, or belongs to another one of our neighbours. The later is more likely, but the idea of a ghost dog is more exciting. Not that something that exciting would ever happen around here.
Also, I watched Keeping Mum the other day because a friend of mine told me that she watched it on Halloween. She watched it in place of a horror movie, because she had seen it before and found it scary. I had heard that it was a comedy, so the other day I rented it to clear up whether or not it would make a good Halloween horror movie. Unless there’s just something wrong with my sense of humour, it was indeed a comedy. The big sticker on the front of the DVD cover that says COMEDY, also suggests that there’s a slight possibility of it being designed to make you laugh and not to horrify you.
Now, if you haven’t seen Keeping Mum then you won’t know what happens to their neighbour’s dog, who keeps them up with its barking, and making a connection between the film and my life will have made no sense at all.
I should warn you that I’m seeing High School Musical 3 this afternoon.... just in case I don’t survive and you never hear from me again.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Epicorm and Gibberllin
When we last left Lilette, Ash had just informed her that her entire family is being held hostage in their home by Rats, under the order of the Rat King. Ash then told her that there was something he needed to show her, thus taking Lilette to his toadstool home.
“Come” said Ash, placing his hand on Lilette’s back, politely allowing her to enter before him.
“Thanks” she murmured at a near whisper, her insides buzzing with the feeling of his touch. They entered a semi circular shaped room, empty of people. The room was rather small, all the items of furniture and belongings took up the majority of what little space there was, making Lilette feel somewhat claustrophobic. Next to each of the four wooden framed cotton beds (lined up on the wall farthest from the door) was a large wooden box, the wooden boxes were separately labelled Gibs, Ash, Epic and The Wise Dreamer.
Lilette fixed her gaze upon Ash’s box, wondering what he kept inside.
“All of our belongings are kept in those boxes. My brothers, my dad’s and mine” Ash informed her, leaving Lilette feeling slightly embarrassed that she’d been staring at them. Besides the beds and boxes, the only other object in the room was a blue wardrobe, built especially to fit the curve of the semi circular room. A dim red light hung from the centre of the rooms ceiling, light enough to see clearly but dark enough to sleep if you wished.
“Where are your brothers?” asked Lilette curiously “and your dad?” Ash gestured to the wooden door in the middle of the wooden wall that the wooden framed beds were lined up on. To get to the door they walked in between Epic and Ash’s beds. Ash opened the door and Lilette followed him into the kitchen.
The room was the same size and shape as the bedroom. It was, however, a lot brighter than the other room, there were square holes cut evenly into the toadstool walls. Doing the job of windows and letting in sunlight. Lilette observed the room as being a kitchen/ dining room, fitted with all things needed to cook and eat. Sitting at the large dining table – which took up the majority of the space – were three Fairies. The boy closest to Lilette was very skinny, more bony than anyone Lilette had ever stumbled across. His body appeared to be too long for him, leaving him with a clumsy and lanky persona. He was content to absently look through a piece of transparent red paper, his face full of childish amusement.
The boy next to him wasn’t quite as skinny, he was more similar in shape and size to Ash (normal weight and a little taller than average.) Lilette wondered if he was older or younger than Ash, she would have guessed the same age, but she didn’t suspect them to be twins. He sat with an overacted display of maturity, trying to look proper as he wrote neatly onto a leaf. Lilette thought he just looked snobby.
On the far end of the table was an old man. Older, Lilette thought, than what Ash’s dad was going to be. He had white, wildly frizzy hair, his face seemed aged with knowledge. Lilette had never sensed wisdom by purely looking at someone’s face before. The old man sat with his eyes closed, but Lilette guessed he was doing something other than resting.
“Dad?” said Ash, closing the wooden door behind him, but only his two brothers looked up at him “Dad!?” he said loudly and with more irritation than before. The old man didn’t stir.
“Dad” said the snobbish brother, his eyes didn’t leave the leaf he was writing on.
The old man opened his eyes slowly at the sound of the snobbish brothers voice, Ash sighed in a ‘why does it never work when I do it’ way.
Lilette noticed that one of the old man’s eyes was brown, and the other was electric purple, she had to bite her bottom lip to stop from gasping.
“This is my dad, Jacob...” Ash began to introduce his family, but was interrupted by his father.
“Please. Call me.... The Wise Dreamer” Jacob said slowly, with intended dramatised mysticism. Ash rolled his eyes. The old man stood up, with the help of his cane, and headed to the door “now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some unfinished business to attend to.” And with that, Jacob left.
Ash bid his father farewell and continued the introductions
“This is my brother Epicorm” Ash pointed at the lanky boy, who looked away from the transparent red paper and said
“Look through this! Look through this! It’s so exciting! It’s called CELLOPHANE!!! It makes the whole world red!” Lilette giggled at his enthusiasm and accepted the offer of looking through his ‘cellophane.’
“Yeah” Lilette said “it does make everything red” she tried to sound excited, but her attempts were pitiful. She handed the paper back, thanking him for letting her see.
“It’s called cellophane!” Epicorm informed her for a second time.
“Yes, I know” Replied Lilette, starting to wonder if there was something wrong with him “and it makes the world red” Epicorm nodded passionately, amidst a seizure of his own hysterical laughter.
“Ok, Epic” Ash warned, but Epicorm kept laughing “Epic! Enough!” Ash yelled firmly. Epicorm burst into a fit of tears, which Ash ignored. “Sorry about that” Ash said to Lilette “he may be twenty-one on the outside, but inside he’s still three” he said with more irritation than concern. “And, last of all, we have my brother Gibberllin” Gibberllin looked up from his writing, stood up, and shook Lilette’s hand.
“It’s lovely to finely meet you Lilette” he said with smooth, literate accuracy. Lilette wouldn’t have been surprised if he spent his spare time practising how to greet people properly.
“But... how do you know my name?” Lilette asked bewildered.
“You haven’t told her?” Gibberllin asked Ash, disgusted with worry.
“No, not yet, Gibs. That’s why she’s here. I thought it would be easier to show her, rather than tell her” when Ash spoke back to Gibs he adopted a ‘don’t think you’re always the right one, you’re no smarter than me’ tone.
“Come” Ash said, returning his attention to Lilette “and I’ll show you the calendar.”
“Come” said Ash, placing his hand on Lilette’s back, politely allowing her to enter before him.
“Thanks” she murmured at a near whisper, her insides buzzing with the feeling of his touch. They entered a semi circular shaped room, empty of people. The room was rather small, all the items of furniture and belongings took up the majority of what little space there was, making Lilette feel somewhat claustrophobic. Next to each of the four wooden framed cotton beds (lined up on the wall farthest from the door) was a large wooden box, the wooden boxes were separately labelled Gibs, Ash, Epic and The Wise Dreamer.
Lilette fixed her gaze upon Ash’s box, wondering what he kept inside.
“All of our belongings are kept in those boxes. My brothers, my dad’s and mine” Ash informed her, leaving Lilette feeling slightly embarrassed that she’d been staring at them. Besides the beds and boxes, the only other object in the room was a blue wardrobe, built especially to fit the curve of the semi circular room. A dim red light hung from the centre of the rooms ceiling, light enough to see clearly but dark enough to sleep if you wished.
“Where are your brothers?” asked Lilette curiously “and your dad?” Ash gestured to the wooden door in the middle of the wooden wall that the wooden framed beds were lined up on. To get to the door they walked in between Epic and Ash’s beds. Ash opened the door and Lilette followed him into the kitchen.
The room was the same size and shape as the bedroom. It was, however, a lot brighter than the other room, there were square holes cut evenly into the toadstool walls. Doing the job of windows and letting in sunlight. Lilette observed the room as being a kitchen/ dining room, fitted with all things needed to cook and eat. Sitting at the large dining table – which took up the majority of the space – were three Fairies. The boy closest to Lilette was very skinny, more bony than anyone Lilette had ever stumbled across. His body appeared to be too long for him, leaving him with a clumsy and lanky persona. He was content to absently look through a piece of transparent red paper, his face full of childish amusement.
The boy next to him wasn’t quite as skinny, he was more similar in shape and size to Ash (normal weight and a little taller than average.) Lilette wondered if he was older or younger than Ash, she would have guessed the same age, but she didn’t suspect them to be twins. He sat with an overacted display of maturity, trying to look proper as he wrote neatly onto a leaf. Lilette thought he just looked snobby.
On the far end of the table was an old man. Older, Lilette thought, than what Ash’s dad was going to be. He had white, wildly frizzy hair, his face seemed aged with knowledge. Lilette had never sensed wisdom by purely looking at someone’s face before. The old man sat with his eyes closed, but Lilette guessed he was doing something other than resting.
“Dad?” said Ash, closing the wooden door behind him, but only his two brothers looked up at him “Dad!?” he said loudly and with more irritation than before. The old man didn’t stir.
“Dad” said the snobbish brother, his eyes didn’t leave the leaf he was writing on.
The old man opened his eyes slowly at the sound of the snobbish brothers voice, Ash sighed in a ‘why does it never work when I do it’ way.
Lilette noticed that one of the old man’s eyes was brown, and the other was electric purple, she had to bite her bottom lip to stop from gasping.
“This is my dad, Jacob...” Ash began to introduce his family, but was interrupted by his father.
“Please. Call me.... The Wise Dreamer” Jacob said slowly, with intended dramatised mysticism. Ash rolled his eyes. The old man stood up, with the help of his cane, and headed to the door “now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some unfinished business to attend to.” And with that, Jacob left.
Ash bid his father farewell and continued the introductions
“This is my brother Epicorm” Ash pointed at the lanky boy, who looked away from the transparent red paper and said
“Look through this! Look through this! It’s so exciting! It’s called CELLOPHANE!!! It makes the whole world red!” Lilette giggled at his enthusiasm and accepted the offer of looking through his ‘cellophane.’
“Yeah” Lilette said “it does make everything red” she tried to sound excited, but her attempts were pitiful. She handed the paper back, thanking him for letting her see.
“It’s called cellophane!” Epicorm informed her for a second time.
“Yes, I know” Replied Lilette, starting to wonder if there was something wrong with him “and it makes the world red” Epicorm nodded passionately, amidst a seizure of his own hysterical laughter.
“Ok, Epic” Ash warned, but Epicorm kept laughing “Epic! Enough!” Ash yelled firmly. Epicorm burst into a fit of tears, which Ash ignored. “Sorry about that” Ash said to Lilette “he may be twenty-one on the outside, but inside he’s still three” he said with more irritation than concern. “And, last of all, we have my brother Gibberllin” Gibberllin looked up from his writing, stood up, and shook Lilette’s hand.
“It’s lovely to finely meet you Lilette” he said with smooth, literate accuracy. Lilette wouldn’t have been surprised if he spent his spare time practising how to greet people properly.
“But... how do you know my name?” Lilette asked bewildered.
“You haven’t told her?” Gibberllin asked Ash, disgusted with worry.
“No, not yet, Gibs. That’s why she’s here. I thought it would be easier to show her, rather than tell her” when Ash spoke back to Gibs he adopted a ‘don’t think you’re always the right one, you’re no smarter than me’ tone.
“Come” Ash said, returning his attention to Lilette “and I’ll show you the calendar.”
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