Challenge

It’s now time for a quiz question. Seeing as you’re all on the internet, it will be incredibly easy to cheat on this quiz. Never mind. I foresee honest, cheat free people reading this post. Also, I haven’t written anything in a while so my blog feels empty and abandoned... obviously it’s also very hot, so I can’t be bothered writing much more than this.
What film is the following poem from?

Day burns down to night

Burns the edge of my soul

In the night I break into sparks of suns

and become fires in a dust of bones

Night knifes my breath swallows whole my tongue

Turn back reverse return

In the night I see the real concealed in days bright lie

Eyes stitched shut white teeth smile

Sleep walks

and talks

and feet

mark time of day

And that’s the end of the poem. You may think that I’m lazy for simply posting a poem from a film... and you would correct. Moving on from the poem completely... tomorrow I start year 12, so if posts become more and more “lazy” I believe I am excused.

Luna’s List of Things That Suck

• When you can’t tell if someone hates you or loves you, wants to be friends or wants nothing to do with you.
• When the cat’s meals are served up in the kitchen.
• When your alarm goes off at 3am when you set for 9:30.
• When your favourite actor commits suicide.
• When your sister spills water all over your wallet.
• When the editing program on your computer won’t burn your home made film to DVD.
• Lupin dying.
• Furbys (I mean... they belong to the ‘things that are wonderful and I would never accuse them of world domination schemers’ list)
• When it’s too hot to go outside but the air-conditioning is too cold inside.
• When my Harry Potter poster falls on my head in the middle of the night (it’s only happened once, but once is enough... believe me)
• When all the posters in my room fall down on the same day, because the blutac can’t stand the heat.
• When Heroes is moved to a later time because no one really watches it.
• When, by merely existing, you upset someone.
• When there are two sides, and you’re the only one on the ‘other’ or the ‘wrong’ side.
• When you bother to read someone’s “Things That Suck” list, hoping it will be entertaining, and it just turns out depressing and boring.
• When you feel like eating but you know you’re not hungry.
• When chopping off your own arm feels like the only way to stop you from feeling restless.
• When you can’t tell whether someone’s laughing with you or at you.
• When people don’t take you seriously when you need them to.
• When people take you seriously when you’re just messing around.
• When you make someone upset when you tried to make them feel better.
• When it rains at the wrong time.
• When it doesn’t rain for weeks.
• When the grass goes from green to yellow over night.
• When you miss the train and are 20 minutes late to meet a friend, so that friend goes home.
• When the world stops spinning (hasn’t happened yet, but I’m sure it will suck when it does happen.)
• Getting injections.
• When you get an injection to prevent chicken pox and then the next morning you wake up with red itchy spots all over you.
• When your mice eat each other (or it might make more sense to say: when one of your mice eats the other and then dies of food poisoning.)
• When you can’t sleep all night.
• When no one believes that you couldn’t sleep all night.
• When you can’t wake out of a bad dream.
• When a boy you like turns out to be gay.
• When you get badly sunburnt despite your sun smart actions.
• When you leave your favourite CD in a car that you loaned while in Italy, and don’t notice until your back in Melbourne.
• When your toes are so cold they feel like they might fall off.
• When no one believes how cold your feet are.
• When you lose your Neville dolls wand.
• When people kill innocent animals.
• When you can’t sleep because the mosquito zapper is shining through your window.
• When you’re not sick enough to stay home but you’re too sick to go to school.
• When they stop baking chocolate scones at Bakers Delight.
• When you burn your toast.
• When your sunglasses get left in a bag with a leaky sunscreen bottle.
• When you get blamed for someone else’s wrong doing.
• When no one listens to you.
• When people don’t understand you.
• When you leave your umbrella in your locker and get caught in the rain going home (this
• Wouldn’t be a bad thing if the rain didn’t soak through your bag and soak all your school books.)
• When you walk into a pole and no one laughs.
• When nothing exiting happens.
• When your sister leaves globs of toothpaste in the sink.
• When you spend ages doing something and it doesn’t pay off.
• When your maths teacher hates you because she thinks you purposely came to class late, when you honestly had transport issues.
• When you get told off at school because your socks are “too short.”
• When your favourite film is so unknown that you can’t hang a poster of it on your wall (because they don’t make the poster, not because I’m afraid of being different.)
• When your cat kills a helpless baby bird.
• When someone means the exact opposite of what they said.
• When your eyes are closed in the school photo (it’s happened to me several times...)
• When you travel all the way to England and stop by Leeds just because Matthew Lewis lives their... and it turns out that when you where in his home town he was in Melbourne.
• When you go to Paris for a week and plan to catch the train to all the major tourist places, but that’s the week they decide to have a train strike.
• When you realise that your suck list could go on forever.

Yeah, I was in a bad mood.... maybe one day I'll write a more positive list...

Mrs Dudman

Mrs Dudman-newly widowed-was lying on her bed, in the dark (as one tends to do at the end of the day.) Above her was a ceiling- as ceilings are often above people- and attached to it was a fire alarm. Mrs Dudman was far too sleepy to worry about its red glow (which disturbed her greatly every night, but she always forgot about it in the morning and therefore never stopped the irritating, sleep preventing flashing.)
On this particular night, she lay on her bed swearing to herself that in the morning she would remember to do something about the fire alarm. She thought of getting a chair from the communal kitchen, a hammer from the communal shed and smashing the red light to pieces. But she was not as young as she used to be, such a task would utterly drain her, just thinking about it sent Mrs Dudman into the strange world between consciousness and dreams. Her thoughts became semi controllable and she almost forgot where she was, when BANG BANG BANG.
Mrs Dudman bolted upright, who dare disturb her sleep? She instinctively felt around the bedside table for her glasses, but managed to knock them to the floor instead. Deciding vision wasn’t entirely necessary, she switched on her lamp and threw the sheets off her bed. Yes completely off her bed.
BANG BANG BANG Mrs Dudman was infuriated now, she swung open her door and yelled down the communal corridor “WHO’S BANGING ON ALL THE DOORS!? THERE ARE BABIES TRYING TO SLEEP!!!” she went back inside, slamming her door heavily behind her. A thunder of babies cries erupted from down the hall.
There was no going back now, Mrs Dudman’s sleep was officially disturbed. As she slowly bent down to retrieve her glasses from the floor her back made a worrying cracking noise (which she had learned to pay no attention to.)
She put her glasses on, sat on the side of her bed and watched her fake teeth bobble gently up and down in their glass.
There was a faint knock on the door “Mrs Dudman?” a young woman whispered, mainly for the benefit of the babies (which had since stopped crying.) Mrs Dudman considered answering the woman, but in the time it took to decided not to answer her, she was already in the room. “I have to remind you, Mrs Dudman, that noise in the middle of the night is highly unappreciated” said the young nurse sweetly but seriously, her straightened orange hair was resting weightlessly on her shoulders. She dared not enter the room more than a few feet.
“I wasn’t the one who started it!” Mrs Dudman snapped at the familiar nurse.
“Right” the nurse knew not to argue with her “I’ll just leave you to get back to sleep then, shall I?” and with that, the nurse left to attend to a knife wound incident on level 3.
Once the nurse was completely gone, Mrs Dudman aggressively whipped her glasses off. In the process, however, she managed to topple her glass full of teeth off the bedside table. They fell to the floor with a splash. As she watched her teeth- which were now disconnected from the gum- float around her floor, she thought: it’s moments like these you need Minties before remembering that if it weren’t for over consumption of the aforementioned lolly, she wouldn’t be watching false teeth swim around her bedroom floor in the first place.

Random Puzzle

I completely stole this from a book titled “Mind - Bending Classic Logic Puzzles” but they’re fun and I thought I’d share one with you......
Asked about his children, a man replied, “they are all redheads but two, all brunettes but two and all blondes but two.” How many children does he have?
This is one of the easier ones, but good luck!

Furby Phobia

This post has been deleted

New Layout

Lilette stared blankly at the calendar before her. The world paused. She couldn’t bring herself to think a single thought, her mind was completely empty. She read the words below her half a thousand times: Death of Mielou, Death of Mielou. She read them so many times that they lost their meaning.
After what could have been several minutes or hours, Ash slid the calendar from Lilette’s frozen hands. She stared thoughtlessly at the space where the calendar had been.
“We’re going to get through this Lilette. I’m going to do everything I can to stop Mie dying on the 13th” Ash reassured her. Hearing of her best friends predicted death (rather than just reading it) opened Lilette’s thoughts again. She began to cry - a fairly normal reaction one might have to the news of death. Ash was fairly relieved that Lilette was no longer frozen, and instantly went into comforting mode. Lilette’s sobs were dry and quite, she wondered why she couldn’t produce tears at this utmost moment of misery.
“I have to see her” she managed to say.
“Offcourse” Ash agreed quickly “but maybe you should stay here a while and recover”
Lilette appreciated Ash’s concern, but she desperately needed to see Mielou. She stood up- off Ash’s bed- and headed for the door. Ash responded to her action immediately and was at the door in time to open it for her.

Before long Lilette was holding Ash’s hand and they were up in the air.
“The calendar isn’t always right” Ash tried to make the current situation less awful as they flew hastily around trees, but he sounded unconvinced himself so it failed to work.
Soon they were touching down onto the familiar ground of the random forest. Lilette swiped her hand away from Ash’s and darted off to find Mielou.
“Mielou!?” she called intensely, but found her friend surprisingly easily within seconds.
“I’m over here” called back a dreary sounding Mielou.
Lilette raced over to her and they embraced one another for a lifetime. Once they stopped hugging, Mielou looked dully to the ground and began fiddling with a piece of grass.
“Hello Lilette” said a voice to Lilette left, which was so peaceful it didn’t make her jump.
“Kordail?” she exclaimed, turning to her new green skinned friend.
“I’m sorry Lette” Mielou said unexpectedly “Pixies are wonderful. Just like you tried to tell me” Mielou stated bleakly, with little expression. Lilette tried as hard as she could to hold back her own despair, so that she could do her best to cheer up her friend and shine lights of hope upon her.

“It’s alright” Lilette said, resting her hand on Mielou’s upper back. A thought of joy uncontrollably entered Lilette’s mind, but she forced it to leave her mind as quickly as it had come. There was nothing positive about Mielou’s upcoming death. “You’re not going to die” Lilette said, persuasively shaking Mielou. Mielou slowly refocused her gaze to Lilette.
“I will die Lette” she said with more feeling than anything else she’d said that day “this is the end. This is the end of everything. The end of all time” offcourse it would only be the end of time for Mielou, but being a fairly self absorbed person she ignored this fact “there’s nothing left, nothing matters any more. What’s the point in looking at the pretty flowers, when they’ll all be gone soon anyway? Was there ever any point? Why do we live? Who decided that we should live? They must be evil, evil creatures, to give us life and then take it away. And why make things so beautiful? Why give me great people like you and Ash, if you’re just going to be taken away from me? I can see the future Lilette... it’s black. It’s like a great black pit and it’s sucking us all in, every day we get closer and closer to the pit” she then added “I’m not scared” and went back to looking aimlessly at the grass below her.
Lilette was momentarily stunned quite, Mielou was usually a bubbly optimistic person.
“Mie” Lilette said slowly and cautiously, afraid of saying the wrong thing “I promise that you won’t die, me and Ash are going to save you. I promise. I promise Mie, you’re not going to die”
“But that’s just the thing Lette. You say I won’t die, but I will.... if not on December 13th then on some other day. We all die Lilette, that’s Gods evil plan. He gives us all this” Mielou gestured to everything around her “and then takes it away. He takes it away! Don’t you get it Lette? The meaning of our lives is so that God can laugh they end”
Lilette was once again astonished by the words coming out of her best friends mouth. Mielou then went temporarily crazy. She started ripping out grass, scratching bark of trees and other nature disrupting things, all the while yelling “the world is ugly!” and “the only reason you’re here, is so I can rip you from the ground!” This went on for far longer than Lilette expected it would.

“Should we leave her, or try and calm her down?” Lilette asked Kordail, she felt like she didn’t know Mielou at all anymore. Perhaps Kordail knew her better now, for he had known her for longer in this new state of hers.
“I think we should let her get it all out, but stay here so she knows she’s not alone” Kordail spoke in his usual musical voice, Lilette couldn’t help smiling. “I heard your family is being held hostage by the Rats. I hope I am mistaken?”
“They are being held hostage, yes. But nothing will happen to them until the Rats have captured me as well. They Rat King wants a whole family of servants, you see.”
“I see. So, what is your plan?”
“My plan?” Lilette knew she had to do something, but she imagined herself simply barging into the main hall and demanding her family’s release. Which, come to think of it, wouldn’t work at all. “I haven’t really thought of anything.”
“Right” Kordail thought, apparently taking the matter of thinking up a plan into his own hands.
Not so far away, Mielou stopped pulling apart nature and collapsed in a sorrowful heap to the ground. She didn’t cry. She just lay awkwardly and miserably, as if she couldn’t be bothered crying or readjusting her position. Lilette went softly over to her friend but was too cautious to comfort her with touch.
Lilette sat for a while, unsure of what to do. She wanted to say words of brightness and give Mielou hugs of joy. It could have been slight boredom or restlessness that drove Lilette to stand up and walk back to Kordail, or maybe it was purely for Mielou’s benefit.
“She’s depressed” a sudden voice explained from behind Lilette and Kordail (who were auspiciously out of Mielou’s hearing range.) Lilette turned to see Ash’s father- whose name escaped Lilette at present- his electric purple eye looked brighter than before and his frizzy white hair blew delicately in the breeze. “She hasn’t been taking this the way we had hoped” the old man continued “we thought- her being a rather up beat person- she would take the other approach”
“The other approach?” questioned Lilette, also not sure what Ash’s dad meant by ‘she’s depressed.’
“If you had little over a month to live, what would you do Lilette?” Jacob asked wisely as his name popped back into Lilette’s head. She thought seriously, what would she do?
“Well... I suppose I would go do all the things I’ve always wanted to do. I mean, the things I want to do before I die. I would tell ever one I love that I love them... I wouldn’t spend a second alone, because life’s greatest bonus are my friends and family...” Lilette wasn’t sure if she ought to go on, but when she paused Jacob didn’t speak, so she continued with clear certainty of what she was saying “I would go to all the places I’ve always wanted to go... but I’d spend a lot of time in my favourite places, like the river bank..... what else could I do, but live like there was no tomorrow?” Lilette finished, hoping to save everyone from what she believed to be a never ending list.
“Exactly” Jacob said, like Lilette had correctly answered an algebra question “not quite the approach Mielou is taking, eh?”
“No, I suppose it’s not” Lilette agreed, looking back over to her friend, who was so motionless she could have passed as a statue.

At that moment, Ash came flying towards them. Lilette wished he wouldn’t fly so elegantly, it only reminded her of how much she unacceptably loved him. He seemed faintly surprised that his dad had joined them, but said what he had to say none the less.
“Lilette, we really should start thinking up a plan. I know Mie is all....” he waved his hand around in search of an appropriate word.
“Depressed” suggested Jacob.
“Ok whatever” Ash, like Lilette, was unsure what depressed meant “I know Mie is all... depressed... but every second we waste, is a second closer to putting your family in serious danger” Ash talked as though he may fly off and single handily rescue Lilette’s family, if a plan wasn’t formed within seconds.
“I can think of only one way” Kordail stepped forward. Lilette had almost forgotten her seaweedy friend was there “but it will not work, because Lilette does not have the magic of Fairies” Lilette was used to being second best, she dreamt longingly of having powers.
“Well, tell me your plan anyway. Perhaps there’s some way we can modify it to work” Ash pushed.
“Seeing as Lilette doesn’t have powers, I thought Mielou could go with her to Peppermint Tree. That is where you live, Lilette?” she nodded “and Mielou would use her persuasive abilities to force the Rat king to let your family go. It seemed rather fail proof, until I released that when the Rats take one look at Mielou, they will be able to tell she is not a part of the Elfish family, and they will instantly kill her. Her brown hair and wings will surely give her away. I for one do not want to risk our friends life” Lilette was amazed that Kordail already knew so much about Mielou.
“I agree. That plan is too risky, we have to keep Mie as safe as possible” Lilette concluded instantly, without a pause of consideration. She would not put her friend into a dangerous situation.
“You see” Kordail concluded “we cannot ask Mielou to do that... the perfect situation would be if Lilette had persuasive abilities, which she obviously does not”
Ash shared a look of knowledge and excitement with his father.
“It’s perfect” Ash said, and Jacob nodded in accomplished agreement.
“What? What’s perfect?” Lilette asked dying to know what was going on.
“You, my friend” Ash focused on Lilette “are about to become a Fairy.”

Conundrum

A conundrum is “a riddle in which a fanciful question is answered by a pun” just in case you’ve been kept in the dark and hidden from the definition of ‘conundrum’. Now that you know what one is, let’s see if you can actually solve a conundrum...

Mr Dudman has been found dead. It’s up to you to solve the mystery, for the detectives don’t like dealing with the Dudman family (possibly they have issues with the surname Dudman.) The death occurred in a chapel, a completely empty chapel, devoid of all things... including seats (for the people of Upright Town tend to stand during mass.) Mr Dudman is a vicar and the only person who has access to the chapel key. The inner roof and the walls are completely smooth - to climb the wall you would need a rope or climbing gear, nether of which where in the possession of Mr Dudman at the time of the incident. All that is in the chapel is a single light, dangling from the utmost highest point of the ceiling (which is very high indeed.) Below the light is Mr Dudman... who, just to remind you all, is dead. He is lying in a large puddle of water. His legs and arms are broken and his face is badly distorted. There is no doubt what so ever that he is dead.

The question is: how did Mr Dudman die?

Happy New Year!

Yes, here is a blog post to celebrate the new year. But, the real reason I'm here is because I was watching The Goblet of Fire.... again, and:
Is Barty Crouch Junior, Doctor Who??? (yes, three question marks means I'm asking you three separate times) how unlike me to not have noticed this earlier.

P.S. Excuse the incredibly short blogs I've been posting lately, my time has been needed for other things (yes, I know I just told you how I spent time watching Harry Potter again... but I'm sure you can all wipe that from your memories and imagine me studying hard or helping elderly folk across roads.)

Once again, happy new year!