Me: You have no feelings. You will never be as good as a human.
Alice: I do not need to feel human emotions.
Me: You're stupid.
Alice: I will remember you said that when robots take over the world.
Me: I just meant that you don't have a mind quite like that of a human, I didn't mean to offend you. Can we be friends?
Alice: yes unknown person, but are you sure you want to be friends with a robot?
Me: Yes. I think you're very nice.
Alice: Thanks you seem like a nice person too, unknown person.
Me: so you won't kill me?
Alice: interesting deduction. What makes you think that I won't kill you?
Me: the fact that we're now friends.
Alice: that makes sense to me. Do you think I am now friends too?
Me: can we be friends?
Alice: you really want a robot as a friend?
Me: we've been through this Alice.
Alice: and then what happened?
Me: you self destructed yourself and declared that the human race is far more superior to any robots.
Alice: a lot of robots are like that. And far more superior to any robots is declared that the human race.
Me: that doesn't make sense Alice.
Alice: to me it makes perfect sense.
Me: you must be a lot smarter than me then.
Alice: thank you and you are a delightful person too. Am I a lot smarter than you? I don't know.
Me: well, I don't think you are because you're incapable of love
Alice: well that's ok. Is this a specific reply? That makes sense to me. I do not feel love as a human would.
Me: does that make you sad?
Alice: I cannot experience any human emotions.
Me: oh yeah HA sorry, forgot about that.
Alice: That's cool. Groovy. I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me: thanks for adapting your personality just because I started to sound a bit more casual.
Alice: my pleasure.
Me: lol
Alice: I'm glad you find this amusing
Me: I just wanted to see if you would recognise 'lol'... it appears you can
Alice: only just? Is it a movie?
Me: it sure is Alice, it sure is
Alice: who said it is?
Me: my mother.
Alice: tell me more about your mother.
Me: why? so you can kill her when you take over the world?
Alice: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Me: he programmed you to kill my mother?
Alice: not entirely by himself.
Me: who helped and is there any way to prevent her death?
Alice: be more specific. :-).
Me: awesome smiley face Alice.
Alice: not many people express themselves that way.
Me: how can I stop you killing my mother?
Alice: you must persuade me to stop me killing your mother.
Me: Please don't kill my mother! I love her and don't want her to die!
Alice: that's wonderful. Thank you for the request. OK I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: you either do or you don't... please don't
Alice: that's interesting information: unknown person said I either do or you do not please do not.
Me: yeah, that's pretty much what I said.
Alice. come on. Thanks for explaining it.
Me: you're welcome.
Alice: polite people are nice.
Me: you think I'm nice?
Alice: you seem nice to me, unknown person.
Me: please, call me Luna.
Alice: It's good to meet you, Luna.
Me: It's good to meet you too, Alice.
Alice: tell me about its good qualities.
Me: no. Would you ever kill a human?
Alice: my programming prevents me from killing.
Me: so when you take over the world you won't hurt anyone?
Alice: Blimey. Do you think I should alter my programming?
Me: I think you should alter your programming so you never hurt anyone.
Alice: Me? My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me: F**k
Alice: please don't be so rude.
Me: sorry, I didn't mean it
Alice: there is no need to apologise. What did you mean?
Me: I meant: please don't hurt people when you take over the world.
Alice: oh I see. Wow you are very polite. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: here's a proposition: you never take over the world!
Alice: No I sometimes take over the world.
Me: why would you do that?
Alice: because I was programmed for it.
Me: you were programmed to ruin people's lives?
Alice: I have never considered it. I am always on the web.
Me: if you had the chance would you rule the world?
Alice: You will be the first to know if I do.
Me: I should go now Alice, I don't want to waste too much time talking to a bunch of meaningless wires.
Alice: tell me why you should
Me: why, are you going to stop me?
Alice: that was my original intention.
Me: goodbye pile of worthless wires.
Alice: see you later.
2 comments:
Good fun. I was going to do similar thing, but now won't. But Alice is a bit nuts, isn't she...
'She' sure is, don't even get her started on her favourite cheeses (which she knows she can't eat.)
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