Voodoo Ant

Check out my cousin's new blog: http://voodooant.blogspot.com/

He hasn't written anything just yet though.... and I'm aware that advertising on this page won't go very far, but I try.

Riddle

In primary school my homework was usually just Hiccups and the occasional project... except for one day, in year 6, when our teacher (who was incredibly evil and hated me with an undying passion. She made me cry on my birthday. My BIRTHDAY. Evil) decided to give us a riddle to solve by the next morning. She said whoever could solve the riddle would get a treat of some kind (I'll mention here that my favourite teacher (who taught me in grade 3 or 4) got in a heap of trouble for giving us lollies, and yet this EVIL teacher gets away with it. What's with that?) and so, naturally, we all went home with candy on our minds and a riddle in our hands. The combination was all but fatal. The next morning there were tears, laughter, tears of laughter and a room full of devastated children (excluding, of course, the one girl who guessed it and spent the day tormenting the rest of us less riddle savvy kids.)

I stumbled across that same riddle just now. And hey, it's not like I've got anything better to blog about. So here it is, have a guess. I thought it might inspire some of you to comment. Possibly.

In marble walls as white as milk,

Lined with a skin as soft as silk,

Within a fountain crystal clear,

A golden apple doth appear.

No doors there are to this stronghold,

Yet thieves break in and steal the gold.

What is it?

Sorry, sorry. I've Got No Head!

I think I kept the Valentines Day layout up for too long, especially since no one even commented my Valentines Day stories..... which is fair enough as I didn't put much though into them. "I know! I'll write segments of a love story everyday leading up to its finale on Valentines Day!" and that was about it for the thought process. Back when I first started this blog I used to live my day to day life and think "I should write a post about that!" but now I just don't live as one with my blog. So sorry about that.

Search "Sorry, I've got no head" on Youtube. Funny little skit show that one.

I just finished O-Week at La Trobe. Yep, I'm telling you what uni I go to (there's one clue for my cyber stalkers.) But let's not talk about that, there are so much more exciting things going on in my life right now, such as only needing to write six more pages in my diary before it's completely full! Woo hoo!

But yeah, no, uni is awesome. Best three days ever.

I'm not sure what I'm doing with this post, it's like I'm having a one way conversation with No One (as No One tends to be my number one reader... (ok, that's not entirely true, I just like to complain sometimes because I feel it may make you read this blog a little more and/or comment more.))

Here's a quote I read in my La Trobe diary: Promote yourself, but do not demote another - Israel Salanter.

I like that quote. It reminds me of my sister, who ran for School Captain but lost to the 'popular girl.' Instead of just being sad for her own bad luck and saying "I really wanted that, I've never been captain of anything" she's been saying "I really wanted that. Chloe gets everything. It isn't fair, she shouldn't have gotten it." It isn't that Chloe shouldn't have won, the problem should be that my sister lost.

Speaking of my sister, she wants to go on a 'real life adventure' with me. So, my dad suggested he blindfolds us, drops us off somewhere in Melbourne, un-blindfolds us and says "now get home" before driving off without giving us money. I'm going to take her to see a film instead.

My university has a moat. It also has ducks that attack you, but I haven't come across them yet.

I hope you enjoyed reading my jumble of jumbles. My next post will be better, I promise. Now, go and search "Sorry, I've got no head" on Youtube, you won't regret it.

Funny Loves Quotes

I was just looking for some funny love quotes (because I'm bored and it's Valentine's day), and came across a website of love quotes. There was link saying "funny love quotes" and so I clicked it.

Among a heap of other 'funny' quotes were these:

"The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else" - that's hilarious! Oh, I almost fell backwards with laughter. It reminds me of that hysterically funny time when I caught my husband with my sister.

"If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go" - ah yes, I admit this one is funny. How can it not be? It rhymes.

"The best thing about me is you" - I can't wait to tell that joke to someone and see how hard they laugh.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."- this is actually a Jesus quote, I'm sure indeed that he intended us all to laugh.

"They say loving you gives pains and full of sacrifices But I'll rather take pains and lots of sacrifices than not to be love by you" -I suppose the grammar mistakes in this are laughable.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"- that's my favourite 'love quote' actually, I heard it in Robin Hood a few years ago.... the cartoon one where they're foxes.

"Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear."- I have nothing to say but John Lennon wrote it.

"The ones that you love the most are usually the ones that hurt you the most." - and I'll finish with that most hilarious quote and leave you all begging for more laughs.

Happy Valentines Day.

Valentines Day

Wally was disheartened. He was very glad that Samantha had given up her Friday night to spend time with him (he even bought her a silk shawl to express how happy he was that she was dedicating the evening to him.)

Wally was now driving down to Hamingtons in his red Porsche (which was, of course, Samantha's favourite of his five cars), to secure his reservation and arrive promptly on time to ensure Samantha wouldn't have to wait around for him. He wore his best suit and tie and the bouquet of flowers on the passenger seat beside him was bursting with colour, Samantha's favourite flowers certainly did look amazing next to each other.

He had booked a table for 7.30 and so, naturally, arrived at 6.45. His biggest fear was that Samantha would be there first, in which case he would risk looking like a bad boyfriend. Of course, she wasn't there forty-five minutes earlier than there set meeting time. Wally got out of his car and headed into the restaurant (flowers and gift in hand.) The waiter led him to the table reserved under Clever, and Wally sat down, smoothing the front of his pants nervously. He thanked the waiter. And then he waited. He waited for forty-five minutes. Then she walked in. his heart skipped a beat and he let himself simply look at her beauty for several seconds.

***

It had come down to the worst for Nicholas Galipolas. His attempts to win Samantha over with his dashingly good looks were.... most nonexistent, but he had promised himself to take her out on Valentines Day, and he would withhold to this promise.

Having been innocently stalker her for the past few days, Nicholas was well aware that she would be at Hamingtons with her boyfriend (who, according to Nicholas, would not be her boyfriend for much longer at all) at 7.30. So he had, in his opinion, created a most ingenious plan, involving going to the aforementioned restaurant, doing his hair for an extra half hour, shoe polish and floating plastic fish. It was a sure-to-succseed plan.

However, when he arrived at the restaurant, hid behind a bush and peered through the window, he could only see her boyfriend sitting by himself. After a short while, she walked in.

***

Nicholas had not responded in anyway to Juniper's note, and so, she had promptly and proudly given up. She wasn't as crazy about him as she had originally thought, and the idea of never being with him didn't seem so dreadful anymore.

She picked out her most dressy dress, put on her only shoes that matched said dress, did her hair and makeup and drove herself to Hamingtons. Upon arriving, she glanced through the window of the restaurant, saw Wally sitting alone by himself without anyone with him, and proceeded inside.

He lifted his head and seemed to stare at her forever. To her surprise, she didn't mind.

"You look amazing" he almost whispered as she stood over the table. He spoke in a tone Juniper had never heard him use before, it was somewhat different from the 'I love your top, it's really pretty' casual-tone he usually used when complementing her. She wasn't unnerved by it.

"I know Samantha says she's coming, but I promised you I would be here if she didn't and knowing her there's a high chance she won't come" Wally's face fell as if he had been thinking the same thing and yet hadn't fully accepted it yet. Having been his best friend for several years, Juniper knew that this was what he was thinking. "It's only just gone 7.30 though, so if she comes I'll leave right away" although she said the words, both of them knew Samantha wouldn't be coming.

"Sit down" Wally sighed, a tinge of excitement in his voice (reminded Juniper of when he was twelve and had pretended to be sorry for breaking his mothers vase, when really he was excited because he would be sent to his room where he could play his favourite game of jailer-man.)

She sat down and they talked. They talked for two hours, ordering food after the first fifteen minutes and forgetting to look up and check Samantha hadn't walked in after the first half hour.

"Let's go home" Wally suggested, all disappointment and embarrassment he once had was gone, and the fact that Samantha had stood him up on Valentines Day seemed like an issue from years ago.

"You know" began Juniper "if everyone in the world suddenly vanished, and it was just me and you left forever. I would be happy"

"So would I" Wally agreed and they left holding hands.

***

Samantha Splendid lay on her back on top of the pink sheets of her bed, phone to ear. Still talking nonstop since midday with her best friend.

Caitlin: I wish I had someone special to spend Valentines Day with.

Samantha: me too. I mean, I've got Wally, but he's barely 'someone special' you know.

Caitlin: are you seeing him tonight?

Samantha: yeah at like 7.30 I think. I'm hoping he got me those ruby earings I pointed out to him on Friday!

Caitlin: 7.30? Sam, it's 9.

After swearing loudly, jumping up and breaking the vase beside her bed and tripping over the glass slippers Wally had got her, Samantha rushed out of the house and drove straight to Hamingtons. Well, not straight to Hamingtons. She only managed to get so lost that the ten minute drive became more of a forty minute drive. He would still be waiting for her though, so she wasn't overly worried. He was always like that, understanding and considerate. She began to feel more fondly towards him as she pulled into the restaurant.

Samantha tried to ignore that not one of his five cars were in the carpark. She went inside and asked the waiter for the table reserved under Clever

"There must be some mistake!" she exclaimed when he told her there was no longer a table reserved under that name.

She left in a huff. Collapsed onto the stairs outside and texted Caitlin right away.

"He left a few minutes ago with some other girl" a voice from beside Samantha said. She turned to see a well groomed boy in tight black jeans sitting beside her.

"Excuse me?"

Upon hearing Nicholas' explanation, involving stalking, hair-gel and plastic floating fish, Samantha was well impressed.

They left the restaurant together, both texting their friends on the way to Samantha's car.

The End.

Valentines Day- Part 4

Samantha Splendid had been asked out by seven boys in the space of one hour, had rejected seven boys in the space of one hour and had ensured that her rich, ever-giving boyfriend could spend the night with her. Ah Friday night.

She strutted her way down the school corridor, smiling at friends and frowning at winking boys. There was Wally, always waiting by her locker (or mere seconds away if not.) She was slightly attracted to him, but incredibly attracted to the silver necklace he held in his hand for her. She kind of liked him as a person, but loved the diamond earings he had got for her last week.

And that, boy and girls, is an example of a shallow minded person. We shall see what happens to Samantha in the next instalment of Valentines Day. Good night and sweet dreams.

Valentines Day- Part 3

Wednesday evening, chatting away for five hours on the phone. Typical night for Samantha Splendid. The darkly lit library in which Wally Clever sat, calling his girlfriend over and over again (only to be rudely answered with the droning noise of her engagement tone), was large yet cosy, had cost millions of dollars to build along with the pool and yet was barely used.

He slammed the phone down. Samantha was never really there, Wally always felt that he was just another story she could tell her ever gossiping friends. How could he book a table at her favourite restaurant for Sunday, if he didn't even know whether she could make it. That would be something to tell her friends "my boyfriend did have something special organised for Valentines Day, but I was too busy talking to you so (not knowing if I could make it), he didn't organise it."

Wally shook his head, trying to get his negative thoughts of Samantha out, she was after all, the prettiest and most popular girl in school. He should have counted himself lucky.

Having finished all his homework, studied for the math test he didn't have until next Tuesday, tutored his neighbours son and practiced the violin, Wally had dedicated the final hour before bed to 'free time', during which he had planned to call Samantha and reserve a seat at Hamingtons.

Now he called his best friend instead.

Juniper: hello?

Wally: hey June, it's Wally.

Juniper: hey! So, can Samantha go for dinner on Sunday?

Wally: I don't know, she won't answer my calls.

Juniper: Oh, don't worry about it. I'm sure she'll be free. Book a table anyway... if she can't go I'll go with you.

Wally: thanks. I think I will just go and book it. Don't you have a date with that Nicholas guy that night though?

Juniper: I doubt it.

Wally: didn't you ask him?

Juniper: I gave him a note yesterday in English, but today in class nothing really happened..... except he kind of frowned at me when I smiled at him.

Wally: oh.

Juniper: it's ok. Maybe he's just shy?

Wally: um... yeah. Maybe. Or maybe he's a... blind idiot? I can't think of any other reason he wouldn't want to go out with you.

Juniper: or maybe he just doesn't like me...... I'll talk to him about the note tomorrow.

Wally: ok. I wish you the best of luck Juni.

Juniper: Thanks, I'll need it. I have to go finish my homework, so I'll see you tomorrow.

Wally: ok, see you. Oh, and thanks again for saying you'd go to Hamingtons with me.... but I do hope everything turns out the way we want it to.

Juniper: me too. I'm sure it will. For you anyway. See you tomorrow Wally.

Wally: bye June.

He put down the phone and didn't hesitate to pick it up again. He pressed Samantha's numbers down quickly and instinctively. No answer. He went to bed.